Are you in the Members Feed?

Sunday 12 Feb, 2017, 5:32pm by Mrs D 105 comments

I have a sneaky suspicion that there are people who visit Living Sober to read blogs and look in the Sober Toolbox.. but don’t ever go inside the Community Area. A few people have commented lately that they’ve been coming to the site for a while but have only just discovered the Members Feed – and this is a total bummer!

The ‘Members Feed’ is inside the ‘Community Area’ and it is the page on this site where we mostly hang out. It’s a scrolling feed where we all post regular updates on what is happening in our day-to-day lives.

Our trials and triumphs as we attempt to move sober around this  booze-soaked world of ours.

The books and blogs we are reading and documentaries we are watching.

How we are dealing with our loved ones drinking or talking to our friends about our recovery.

The material shared inside that space is honest, gritty, warm, kind, real, supportive and non-judgemental. At times it can be inspiring, heart-warming, heart-breaking, sad, uplifting and informative. But it is always real and it is always kind.

It really is a no-brainer. If you want to take your online recovery experience to the next level get yourself in there! You do so by registering to join – putting in your email address (which no-one will see) and choosing any username you like. You can hide your true identity – that is totally fine – and it won’t stop you making genuine connections with other members.

If you have any problems registering send me an email to [email protected] and I’ll help you get in.

Love, Mrs D xxx

105 comments

  1. This is my first day, I’m feeling scared, I want to disappear. I want to get on top of the feelings of dependence, being unloved, isolated. I work at my isolation but sometimes I retreat, and then retreat further by giving into my impulse buying a bottle of wine and drinking. Then beat myself up over it. I can go without, I have but it’s the triggers I can’t control sometimes and thinking to hell with it I don’t care. So here I go into a new world with a community that understands.

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    1. Day 1 for me too…. and I’ve already given in to the wine.
      So day zero.
      I understand your feelings.. the lack of self worth.. isolation and feeling there couldn’t possibly be anyone who would understand… or accept it.
      Well I do. We have both taken a brave 1st step on a long road to recovery.

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    2. Hope you are still AF. We’re here, we’re listening. We want to help. Day 64 for me. Can I get a shout out for all of us out there? We are fighting the good fight and we are winning!

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  2. Re the “danger swig”….I forgot to add that i gave up drinking last December and have been doing well but the danger swigs are starting to steadily increase. Not good.

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  3. It’s the “danger swig” that I’ve got a problem with. I’m totally happy not having a glass of wine or gin and tonic but when the room is empty I take a swig from whatever bottle is open. Any hints and tips to stop this pattern of behaviour would be much appreciated!!

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  4. Hi! I’m new to this group and new to sobriety. This is my first day. I look forward to supporting others and gleaning as many ideas as possible to help stay on the straight and narrow. Reading your posts makes me feel very positive and excited about making a fresh start.

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  5. The Decision To Become Sober Saturday, ‎September ‎01, ‎2018

    What will life be like beyond my addiction. I was convinced that my life would be over when I got sober, but that shouldn’t be the case at all. I’ve should be pleased to find that my life is more manageable, fun, enjoyable, and drama-free without alcohol. In fact, I will be able to do more now that I’m sober. Not only that, being sober will open new doors for me. Writing will be an outlet for my emotions as well as a way to connect with myself stating my honest feeling and views.
    When I was drinking, I was just floating through life. I was there physically but not emotionally or mentally. There are many family events, socializing and trips to the cottage etc where I don’t even remember some of the times when fun was being had by others. I thought I was having fun but was I really or was it the alcohol in me that made me think I was having fun? Was it really true enjoyment? How many times have I heard “don’t you remember you did this or that yesterday or last night” By living sober I will get to be active and coherent in every single moment of my life now and that’s a beautiful thing. I will be grateful and I will remember and take in every second of every moment. No more waking up full of shame and regret as I wonder what happened the night before. When I’m living sober I get to remember everything. I will be more aware of the finer details in life like peoples smiles, or a beautiful sunset.
    Being drunk was just the norm for me and I even thought it was funny sometimes. I only ever thought about the joy that alcohol brought me in the moment while I was drinking it. I quickly forgot about how horrible it made me feel the day after. I had nasty hangovers that brought on nausea, splitting headaches, and cloudiness that lasted lasted for hours on end. I hope I never have to experience that physical discomfort ever again. Blackouts didn’t always happen but when they did the reality of it never really sank in, let alone how dangerous it could have been. It’s funny how you always think your stronger and a tough guy when your drunk. A recipe for nothing but unwanted trouble. Its terrifying to wake up and remember nothing from the night before, not what you did, not what you said, or who you were with. I look forward to not have to experience that feeling again.
    Being able to remember everything while having a fun time is something I took for granted I suppose. I trust I will have more fun living sober than intoxicated (even if it does not seem that way at first). With more time, money, and energy the possibilities for fun should be endless and never involve a hangover. My definition of fun will probably change for the better and eventually I will think to myself “how did I ever think life being drunk was fun?” Being sober, I will play more, I will have a youthful radiance and my laughter will be genuine. What will it be like to draw or play my guitar without being influenced by alcohol? Will I play and draw better? I should also become a better friend and parent/husband as well. I will have more time to devote to nurturing meaningful relationships, and will probably become more reliable and honest.
    How long will it take to get to know myself in recovery. Becoming sober will give me the mental clarity to discover my personal self and help me accomplish my goals. Now that I’ve stopped poisoning my body with toxins, my complexion will inevitably look better. Blemishes will clear, wrinkles lose some of their definition, and dark circles will be minimized. Some people find that once they start living sober they look 10 years younger.(I hope so!) But it is not a superficial benefit. When we look better, we inevitably feel better about ourselves. All the other benefits of a sober life will also have me smiling more which will definitely keep me looking younger. Living sober will leave me with extra money that I would have otherwise spent on fueling my alcohol addiction. It is an automatic savings plan. With more money I can pay off debts, maybe even buy the new Les Paul guitar I constantly dream of having.
    At first having all this extra time not sitting with a bottle will be difficult physically and mentally. However, it should’t take long to realize there is a world of things to do as I stay sober. I can use my time to do things like riding my bike, playing my guitar, drawing or learning something new and getting proper sleep, all of which turn out to be much more rewarding than getting drunk. I will gain respect when I am sober. I’ll gain respect from others as they acknowledge my commitment to change. People will look up to me and admire my sobriety. When I follow through with my commitment I will gain peoples trust again. Becoming sober is a tough but a rewarding display of self-respect as I commit to discontinue the abuse of my body and mind. Feeling good about myself will be one of the biggest gifts sobriety will give me. I can now free myself from the shame and guilt tied to my addictive behavior.
    Each day I should be proud of myself for making it through another day being sober. As my self-esteem grows I will still need to work on my sobriety as it does not just magically happen. As I stay living sober it will contribute to a healthy mind set in the long term making me the person everyone loves when I’m the real me. The thing is, if I don’t have sobriety, I don’t have anything. I truly believe that if I change my behaviors my feelings will follow and create a chapter in my life I thought would never be able to write and enjoy.

    “If you need to get drunk everyday to enjoy your life then you’re doing all wrong.
    Robin Williams

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    1. Hi there,
      Reading your post makes me feel stronger in going sober. I tend to give up then go back as i think i will be stronger this time and that i will be able to control my drinking but every time it always ends up the same, Black outs, hangovers, anxiety and a lot of regret not to mention the strain it puts on my Family. I guess it is just nice knowing that i am not alone and if we all stick together and support each other it will make this process a lot easier so thank you for sharing your story.

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  6. Hope it goes well for you today.. The day is almost done so hope you post tomorrow day 2. Remember reddit has some not drinking groups with tons of ideas and support. Good luck Ready4aReboot:)

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  7. Day one…again. But, this is the first time I have been serious about sobriety in well over a year. So, I am hopeful and optimistic, and asking my Higher Power to give me a hand up.

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  8. Thank you Hammer123… i am very proud of you 100 days is pretty dang amazing! I can not even imagine..the only time i have gone 100 days without drinking is when i am pregnant.. now i seem to get the mojo and go a few days then feel great and somehow feel that beer would increase that feeling of feeling good….it sucks i know you understand….i work at a University and off all summer that has not helped ….thank God i go back in a few weeks …always that illusive way out which never works… i did listen to pod casts from Annie Grace This Naked Mind….not my cup of tea……can you share any advice? I love Belle ..she has a 100 day challenge and dude you would be getting like a million dollars today ha….but a million dollars can never compare to being sober..Congratulations and i pray you keep going…. you are a inspiration to us struggling and Thank you!

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    1. Hi @honeybee, sorry it took so long to respond but I don’T check this area very often. I do check in with the community area a couple of times a day. @daveh has started a “Sober September” over there and I would invite you and any other people who have not joined the Community Area to join us there and sign up for sober September! I am on day 131 and a large part of my success is due to your early support and the community area. Take my hand and we will make this journey together!

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  9. Weekend 5 of no drinking. Feeling good, keeping occupied and remembering to take time just to relax. No hangovers for almost 6 weeks. Grateful

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  10. Hi, Mrs D. I’m very thankful to have found this site. It’s fabulous, and it reminds me so much of Soberistas. However, the first thing I noticed was that the web design looks a bit cranky. It took me a while to figure out, for instance, how to log in and how to get to my earlier posts! I guess the surfing experience would very much be enhanced after a much-needed revamp. xoxo

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    1. Shoutout to @honeybee, just wanted to let you know I am still going AF @ 100 days! I am in the community area everyday if you want to get in touch. I wanted to thank you for all your support in those 1st couple of months. Be well!

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  11. reddit has a lot of groups for those not drinking or trying not to drink..has daily reinforcement from encouragement if you are looking for continuous support.

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  12. day 1…again. out of town for work. very anxious about the post-work invite for dinner/drinks. I know me…I’ve been here before. Too many times. Been trying to quit for good for years. Hoping nobody asks. I want to just come back to hotel room and eat, read, sleep.

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    1. Absolutely YES
      someone is always here for you when you are in the battle for your sobriety. Its OK. You will be successful. .. just always choose YOU…always!
      You gotta be your own cheerleader and celebrate every significant choice you make that brings you to your OWN truth…your OWN worth… your OWN beautiful sober self… it’s a beautiful ambition to have.
      KIA KAHA

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  13. I’m on my second, second day…if that makes sense. Haven’t made it past this point, yet. I’ve got to do something. Thinking of having a game night – anything to keep busy…maybe I’ll make it to day 3 this time.

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    1. I am on day 3, for the I don’t know how many times…… I hope to get past constantly trying getting to day 4 and feeling great, so great just want to drink.

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  14. Thanks for the encouragement honeybee! I did end up having a great day 60. I took some time yesterday to sit in my sadness and realized I am just trying to do too much in one day and when everything didn’t get done it brought on this feeling of failure! I just have to be kinder to myself! Thanks again your kind words and support! Hope everything is good on your end? Go easy my friend!

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  15. I will pray for you today Hammer123! I read once that: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. I hope you have a blessed day 6o! (it is probably good to look at your feelings now that you are not escaping them with booze anymore. I love this line from a beautiful song.. “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. ” Like someone once encouraged me…keep the sunny side up!

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  16. 60 days sober today! I thought I would be super pumped about this achievement but the past 4 to 5 days I have been battling from depression! This maybe why I started drinking in the first place! I’m definitely not going to drink today and I am certain that I can make it to 90 days. I think I need to slow down and figure out what’s going on with my feelings and why things are so messy! If anyone has any advice or encouragement I sure could use it today!

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  17. So glad to here you are starting again! I have quit drinking for a year before and it was horrible! I just wanted to see if I could do it and white knuckled the whole year, I did this strictly on will power. This time is different I want to quit and enjoy the last half of my life! This 57 days has been much easier than the last time and a lot easier than quitting smoking! I really hope you find the strength and the desire to quit, I know it will improve your life and you deserve that even if you don’t see it yet! Your life has value and you have really helped me get to this point in my sobriety! Let your awesomeness shine through!

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  18. 54 days is amazing! And I see you (and wife) are reaping the benefits of no booze. I wish i could stay strong as you have…i feel fantastic when i do not drink than sabotage it having a few which turns out to be several and many wasted hours of doing nothing. Good health is a blessing so many people do not have and here i am purposely destroying mine with poison, UGH! Well thanks for thinking of me…i was on another day 1 yesterday so your words are quite encouraging here on day 2. Thank you! I like ‘keep the sunny side up”:)

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  19. honeybee, I haven’t heard from you for a while, I hope all is well with you and your sobriety? If not you can always start again, it is definitely worth it! I am on day 54 and had a discussion with my friends and wife over lunch about maybe trying to manage my drinking even though I know in my heart I can’t. Later that night my wife explained too me that I am a much nicer and a more understanding person when I don’t drink! I have to agree and besides a few moments of weakness every week I don’t really miss the drinking! I definitely like waking up sober and without a hangover and the best part is that I have lost 10 pounds and feel better physically and mentally! I have more confidence in myself and I have been watching my diet and using my old drinking time to go for walks about 50 – 60 miles per week! It’s still early days but I know I can do this and if I can everyone can! Keep the sunny side up!

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  20. Hammer123..thank you for asking ..no was in a better spot rereading last Sundays post…please keep posting your sobriety..it is encouraging. I also found a subreddit group that is supportive and informative..have you tried? Wish me luck on my new day 1..TY!

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    1. Sorry to hear about the set back, but glad your getting back to day 1 I hear that lots of people need more than one day one to get the job done! I will check out the Reddit Group, thanks for the tip! I am now on day 39 and like being sober and not having to manage my drinking. I have told a few more people that I am not drinking and they are very supportive! They are all surprised and think I am just taking a break. None of them thought I had a problem but I was just good ar hiding it! Stay strong and stay focused on the positives of living a sober life! You are not giving anything up you are getting your life back!

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  21. thank you Hammer123..glad you stayed strong on your birthday….today is tough for wanting that feeling that beer gives me ..it sunny and hot and lazy Sunday afternoon in front of me which i would usually be drinking by now and well on my way to doing nothing…lol..so instead i am truly enjoying the day and trying to do something… anything is better than nothing. I eating watermelon for the sweet tooth and drinking mineral water. Thank you for your encouragement and looking forward to where you are at!

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