We talk often here at Living Sober about how the early days of sobriety are so damn hard. How they’re full of cravings, tears, grief, disrupted sleep, grumpiness and generally just freaking the hell out.
But there are often little glimmers in the early days of joy, of hope and happiness. Little whiffs of excitement that signify change is coming and, maybe just maybe it’s going to be a good thing.
Member @lillyz is in the very early stages of getting sober herself and wrote this update in the Members Feed the other day. She brilliantly articulates the addictive voice at work (the one trying to convince her to pick up again), it’s inspiring how strong and clear she is in her resolution not to listen to that voice, and she is so great at focussing on all the positives that are already becoming apparent about being sober.
@lillyz: I am sitting here eating toast and having a nice strong cup of tea. I had a reasonable nights sleep. I haven’t been feeling so great health-wise. I may of caught a bit of a bug. But it’s Day 7 today and I am feeling good.
In fact I am feeling great – sober wise. I am taking each day as it comes, but doing all I can to not drink.
First and foremost I am starting with my mind. Previously when I have drunk again I have let that little voice through the door saying; “You have done so well not drinking so you are allowed to have a few wines now.” “You don’t have a problem, see? You can go without it.” “All you need to do is drink socially or only have one or two drinks. You can do it”
Well, it is that little paragraph of voice I intend to NOT let through the door. I am visualising my foot at the ready to stop the door from opening any more!!
What I am loving about not drinking is the fact that I TOTALLY feel I have permission to be KIND to myself.
* I am loving spending a little longer in bed.
* I am loving massaging my head and it not hurt.
* I am loving not having a sore throat.
* I am loving drinking nice flavours of tea.
* I am loving drinking coffee milk.
* I am loving waking up in the night and feeling so proud of myself - YAY – I did not drink!
* I am loving not having to worry about having enough alcohol in the house or running off to get some.
* I am loving having more money in my grocery account.
* I am loving feeling guilt free.
* I am loving not going to the recycle bin with empty bottles of wine and hiding them under other things so hubby doesn’t see how much I drink.
* I am loving friends and family contacting me in the evening and not feeling like I have to ‘show’ I am not drunk.
* I am loving getting up in the morning and not having a hangover.
* I am loving the new thoughts and ideas that are coming into my mind because its not taken up with guilt and self pity.
* I am loving how my face looks rested and not tired – nor blotchy and red.
Gosh………. there are so many things to be thankful for. I am happy happy happy.