Happy sober Mother’s Day!

Saturday 13 May, 2017, 1:23pm by Mrs D 10 comments

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. My husband is away overseas for work so it’s just me and the kids here at home. He’s organised a gift for them to give to me which is hidden somewhere in the house. I heard them whispering in the bedroom yesterday … I think they were gathering together all the cards they’ve made for me at school/scouts etc.

Tonight I’m prepping some very decadent walnut and caramel sticky buns which will rise overnight then be baked in the morning to fill the house with a delicious scent and our tummies with delicious food.

Then we’ll just get on with the day which may or may not involve a trip to the movies, some squabbling, the odd hug or two if I can sneak them in, some laughter, a few farts knowing my sons, possibly some snatches of boredom. Dinner will be a beef stew.

Pretty ordinary right?

No. Pretty extraordinary actually. Pretty bloody stupendously, extraordinarily fabulous. Why? Because I am sober. Because I’m grounded and present and real and connected and more emotionally developed than I ever have been my entire life.

I’m not sure if my kids will ever be aware how I’ve changed their childhoods by quitting drinking. I shudder to think how different things would have been for them if I’d kept on the boozy road I was on. It wouldn’t have been pretty.

When I quit I was a daily drinker – at least a bottle if not more.  Now (over five years on) presumably that amount would have increased. My habit would most likely have progressed and worsened as the years went on. I was a lush then, I’d be a total soak now.

But thank goodness I’m not a drunk mum, I’m a sober mum. One who is really involved in each of her sons lives (they’re still very young – 12, 10 & 7), knows their personalities well, and talks to them constantly every day about all manner of inane and meaningful things.

It’s a very ordinary but (to my mind) entirely fabulous situation. And I just feel so, so, so, so grateful that five and a half years ago I got sober and dramatically turned my life around leading to me feeling how I do today.

Sobriety is hard sometimes and relentless, and life can be cruel and unforgiving at times, but any sober Mother’s Day is a very happy day in my book, and one to be treasured.

Love, Mrs D xxx

10 comments

  1. I’m a bit late getting to this post but it brought tears to my eyes @mrs-D I grab hugs when I can catch my two little guys as they barrel through the house like crazed monkeys! Soon they’ll be towering over me. I am so incredibly happy I made the decision to kick the drink 99 days ago. My life is expanding before my eyes I see opportunities everywhere. And I will be the best parent I can be now without booze pushing me down. I’ve had some really crappy days and some great days but always on the upward trajectory. Love knowing that this community is always here like a benevolent presence in my life. Thank you xx

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  2. This was my first sober Mother’s Day in I can’t tell you how long. Had a great day with two of our sons, grandsons and one DIL. Ordered pizza, ’cause no mom should cook on our day, and laughed and played. So thankful.

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  3. This Mother’s Day is my day one. I’ve been experimenting with not drinking off and on for several months. I wasn’t ready to fully commit, but I knew something had to change and have been trying very hard to limit my drinking and put some real thought into why, when and how I drink. At the very least, it’s given me a lot of awareness of what my triggers are and think about how to be better prepared. It’s been feeling like it’s been 2 steps forward and 1.75 steps back. I’m hoping I’ll be able to keep the resolve I feel today. I’ve been an avid sober blog reader but this is my first time participating in an online group.

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  4. Happy Mother’s Day Lotta,
    My hubby is away too, and I will be waking up with two of my three boys at home. My 15 year old has gone to his first gathering that involves alcohol!!!!! Boy oh Boy!!!
    I can happily say I am approaching 3 years AF and I, like you Lotta, love being free from the binds that wine had on me.
    I have just finished Jason Vale’s book for the up tenth time, as it alway inspires me to never look at going AF, as giving up something , but seeing alcohol for what it truly is.
    So now my gorgeous big, tall boy wants to experiment with alcohol. Do we let him take some beer or not? After a long discussion and throwing in a few tip bits from Jason’s book, we came to the decision that he and his good friend will take non alcoholic drinks. We said we will discuss it again when he is 16. I know I can’t wrap him up in cotton wool forever, and that he is going to be curious about lots of stuff, as one should be at his age. But the BIG thing for me, is he knows that I have been AF for nearly 3 years and the reasons why. So Mother’s Day for me, is knowing I am being the best Mum I can be, and that I am truly happy no longer needing a drug that was disguised as a “Big Hug in a Bottle. “( I read that on a wooden wine box in The Warehouse and had a little smile to myself thinking, I use to be that sucker that believed that;)
    So I will happily walk through these next few years with my darling teenager ,and hopefully be the a good,strong role model that continues to show him, we can celebrated having fun without falling into the trap that Alcohol has in our society.
    Happy Mother’s Day Everyone. xx

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  5. Happy sober mothers day Mrs D…. Have a lovely one… I didnt stop drinking until 81 days ago… and my daughter is 27 and flew the nest… and I do wonder how her life would have been different growing up… and the shame is there…. and it’s real… but I can show her NOW and inspire in her by showing her my strenghth and courage and shining health NOW!!! and although I wish with all my heart I had done it during her growing up years…. better late than never FOR SURE!!! so, well done for you for doing it while your littles are still little… and thank you so much for the inspiration you have created here… where the absolute magic happens …. Xxx

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    1. Hi SwooshGirl, and Happy Mother’s Day! I’m like you in that I didn’t stop drinking, either, till my kids were adults and almost adult. The guilt can be tremendous, but we can’t change the past, right? I’ve been honest with my kids about the fact that I have a real problem with alcohol and that I am doing my best to keep it out of my life now. I am focusing on fun and healthy activities now and they see that. At least we saw the light, and are moving forward in a positive direction now, right? We are mums, no matter how old they are, and we can still model good habits for them. Maybe they can even learn a thing or two from our mistakes. Have a wonderful, beautiful day. :-)

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  6. Your mother’s day is going to be awesome. My eldest has dropped in to give me a basket of goodies because she wilk be away tomorrow, and my other 2 children have agreed they will stick to their chores list on a daily basis to help ease my housework burden. Miss 16 is also away with my man choosing me a small gift. This time last year she forgot mothers day and was in a bad mood all day. Tomorrows another day and perhaps she will e in a bad mood but wow I feel we are turning a corner and she is beginning to lose some of the selfish parts of being a teen..we will see :) Happy Mothers tomorrow for you and your boys and may every day contain a grateful mums day moment for you because you are a fabulous mum xx

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  7. I used to use Mothers Day as the ultimate excuse to get blotto. My 2nd Mothers Day sober tomorrow and it will be a peaceful, chilled day with coffee, cake and quality time with family. So nice to not be hungover on the Monday. Happy Mothers Day to everyone on Living Sober :) :)

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