Oh wow everyone … how utterly incredible you all are for sharing those brutal truths. Really, really, really, really, really brave and amazing. The truth will set us free.
I often say that one of the hardest things for me when I was stuck in the depth of my addiction was how miserable and alone I felt. Everywhere around me there were nothing but shiny images of wonderful alcohol and all the magical things it does to our lives… but for me the reality was just shitty and awful. And lonely. But now we can see that we are not alone. Our stories are unique but also so similar. Thanks everyone who added their own ‘Fast Forward’.. I really mean that.. this site is going from strength to strength because of all of you.
And now we need to cheer up!!!!!! So here are some examples of my Happy Sober Reality!!
Happy Sober Reality 1: I’m going to a wedding, this is probably my 5th sober wedding now and I know how to approach it. I make sure I feel good in my outfit and I even match my lipstick to my nail varnish! I concentrate on all the lovely friends I’m catching up with, I notice how delighted the bride and groom are, I sample all the delicious nibbles and treat myself to a Red Bull at dinner. I have loads of fun in the photo booth trying on funny hats and when the 80′s DJ starts to play I have a WILD and CRAZY time on the dance floor – seriously the best dance I’ve had in years!!!!!!! It’s an awesome, awesome night and I am so happy driving everyone home at 1am.
Happy Sober Reality 2: I’m heading to Mr D’s work Christmas party, something I’d usually be quite nervous about (not my gang) but I’ve got my sober boots on (so to speak) and feel buoyed along by the online community that has started building up around my blog. Everyone at the party is cutting loose but I feel quietly calm and it’s not a bad thing. I’m just watching and chatting and feel quite grounded. I end up sitting off to the side chatting to a lovely couple who I wouldn’t normally bother with (because they’re not boozing and I would have considered them ‘boring’). They’re actually far from boring and we have a great, stimulating conversation. I’m so happy driving home at 11pm and climbing into bed to read a few chapters of my book before crashing out and sleeping soundly till dawn. No embarrassing myself tonight.
Happy Sober Reality 3: We’re hosting a pizza / disco party for some neighborhood friends. I’m getting all ‘Martha Stewart’ on it and am trying out fancy pizza toppings. We get some silly pop tunes going for the kids and us adults are also grooving around in the kitchen while preparing food and chatting. It’s a warm and comfortable vibe and we’re all having a lovely time! I realise I’m not missing wines at all and this low-key social event is totally fun without booze. After everyone leaves I tidy up the kitchen and watch some late night tele with a cup of herbal tea. I feel unbelievably happy to be sober and very content.
Now share some of your own Happy Sober Realities! And if you haven’t experienced any yet feel free to make one up…. visualize yourself as the happy, calm sober person you want to be and play out a scene as you would like it to occur.
And occur it will.. because after you are through the trickiness of early sobriety all of these social occasions become very lovely and easy and fun. No booze required at all…..