My Sober Skin

Monday 14 Mar, 2016, 4:10pm by Mrs D 5 comments

I think a big part of the reason I’ve never picked up a drink since I made the decision to stop doing that is that from Day One I put on my Sober Skin and left it there.

From Day One I said to myself ‘I am now a non-drinker’ … and with that I metaphorically stepped out of my Boozy Skin and stepped into my Sober Skin.

I adopted a new attitude, a new belief about myself. I wasn’t just stopping drinking, I was re-framing myself as a sober person. This had to start from within. So I mentally told myself that from now on I was a person who didn’t drink alcohol and I had a new skin – a Sober Skin.

My Sober Skin did NOT fit me at first. It was not comfortable. Frankly it felt as painful as a medieval torture suit, and as conspicuous as a gorilla suit.  My new Sober Skin didn’t feel like mine at all!

But I was determined that I would make it mine. Come hell or high water this Sober Skin would fit and become comfortable.

I knew it was possible because I’d seen other sober people (usually celebrities on the red carpet because I didn’t know any sober people in real life) and they looked very comfortable in their Sober Skin.. so I knew that it was possible and I was determined to make mine fit.

And eventually it did.

You have to expect that for a good few weeks and months the new Sober Skin you have adopted (by choosing to stop drinking) won’t feel comfortable. But if you keep it on.. and keep ploughing through the days .. and refuse to take off your Sober Skin.. then eventually it will start to fit and feel comfortable.

Keeping your Sober Skin on means always accepting that you are a non-drinker – no matter how uncomfortable you feel – and not fighting that fact. Not letting the little thoughts creep in like… ‘if only I could drink with my friends this weekend’, or ‘I wish I could celebrate with a glass of champagne tonight’. No! That is the yu of old with your Boozy Skin on talking. Someone who is wearing a Sober Skin would instead plan for events KNOWING they are not going to drink.

At first this is hard, but as time goes on (and the Sober Skin gets more comfortable) it becomes super easy.

My Sober Skin was bloody awful at first. I felt like I was wearing my aunties ill-fitting suit made out of cheap, gaudy fabric. But slowly over time my Sober Skin began to settle on me and fit beautifully.. and now I could hardly imagine wearing anything else. In fact, if I was to take my Sober Skin off now and put my Boozy Skin back on that would feel bloody awful! Just goes to show how we can adapt and change!

Trust that eventually your Sober Skin will start to feel comfy and lovely. Commit to wearing it no matter what and eventually it will. And then imagine how happy you will feel.

Love, Mrs D xxx

5 comments

  1. I think the drinking mind gets it after awhile after repeated questions, like a child. It starts small, “How about after a bad day? With those friends you always drink with? What about at the wedding?” It hears no, and then it asks “What about if something terrible happens to you or someone you love dies?” I still gently tell it “No I’m not going to drink even then.” It gets panicked and asks, “Is it really going to be forever?” Lately I’ve been telling it my plan is 30 years on, 30 years off, so I can have a glass of red at 76. I likely won’t want it then, but forever can be daunting so I use major delay tactics.
    xx to the Sober Community! So happy to be part of it!

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    1. I’ve done something similar too…when I quit, I knew I needed to quit as my life was getting pretty painful but the idea of forever kept scaring me back to drinking so I decided to commit to “one year”. It actually became comforting to know that I wasn’t going to drink, and I turned my attention to all of the healing and untangling that needed to happen (and is still happening now). After a year of not drinking,…I have the respect of my family and community, my income is increased, my health is good, I wake up early every day feeling well, and I increasingly experience a sense of joy and hope that I was just killing with wine. And I am finally starting to feel comfortable as “me”. So I’ve signed up for another year of not drinking. Honestly, like Mrs. D put it, “not drinking” feels normal now. That took some work but it’s an amazing place to be for anyone who’s struggled with alcohol.
      Jenn

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