Never underestimate the power of Sober Treats

Friday 13 Oct, 2017, 2:52pm by Mrs D 12 comments

When I first quit drinking there were two main new habits (or tools) that I embraced early on to help with my recovery. These were habits I specificially adopted to help me deal with my new alcohol-free life. A life quite unlike the boozy one I’d been leading – a life that had me learning how to cope with being open to my raw emotions 100% of the time.

The first big and important habit had me connecting regularly with like-minded people who knew exactly what I was going through because they were going through it too. Being able to describe the ups and downs of my days and get understanding and empathy back was so helpful. The warmth and wisdom and feeling of belonging that I got from my tribe of fellow soberites was priceless.

The second big and important habit had me embracing the concept of ‘Sober Treats’. This concept is one that gets bandied around a lot in the sobersphere. It involves you treating yourself to little gifts that make you feel special and good.

In the early phases of sobriety often my Sober Treats were simply alcohol replacements – i.e. special non-alcoholic drinks or foods that I could consume at a time when I’d normally be necking wine. I went through all manner of fancy-schmancy fizzy and fruity drinks not to mention cakes, slices, chips, dip, crackers, cheese, nuts etc, etc at 5pm most days.

But I’ve always been into other non-consumable Sober Treats such as fresh flowers, glossy magazines, fancy bath bombs, books, cosmetics, herbal teas, tea cups, new slippers or pyjamas or even pillows! These are the things that appeal to me and my personality. You will know what suits you best.. maybe it’s new equipment for your bike or running shoes or plants for the garden or materials for crafting.

Really there is no limit to the Sober Treat concept. You could buy yourself a new bed and call it a sober treat! Or a lush winter coat! Or even a puppy! Or maybe even just your favourite chewing gum or beautiful ripe piece of fruit from the local farmers market.

Because the thing about Sober Treats is that it’s not only about the material object you are obtaining and the pleasure you’re going to derive from that object. It’s the power and meaning behind the act of selecting and obtaining the object. That movement towards getting something for yourself is as important as the consumption or use of the object itself.

Because with every Sober Treat you give yourself you’re sending yourself a very important message – that is that you are worthy of treating.

With every Sober Treat You are recognising and rewarding yourself for all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears that you are pouring into turning your life around. You are acknowledging that it takes a big effort not just in giving up the booze but in facing life every single day without numbing or avoiding.

You are telling yourself; “I deserve this. I have earned this. I care about myself. I’m proud of myself.” That’s the message you are sending to yourself. That’s what Sober Treats say. And it’s a very important message to hear.

Sober Treats are as important for me now – 6 years after my last ever drink – as they were 6 days after. With every bunch of fresh flowers I buy for myself I am sending myself a little love and respect message.

Don’t underestimate the power of a good Sober Treat and don’t short change yourself by not getting them. You ARE worthy of treating. You ARE brave and amazing for quitting booze. You ARE a bloody legend for digging deep and swimming against the boozy tide to live sober.

Treat yourself. Do it today. Do it next week and do it the week after. Because you are worthy.

And there’s a bonus positive flow-on from embracing Sober Treats too. That is, if we treat ourselves kindly and with respect we’re more likely to treat those around us with kindness and respect too. So everyone benefits.

Love, Mrs D xxx

12 comments

  1. You have done the hardest bit by deciding you need too start. Take one day at a time, Give yourself a high five every time you think of picking up and say no. Find a nice non alcoholic drink (Macs do some nice ones, find them in the supermarket) pour it into a nice glass and enjoy it and most of all, enjoy waking up in the morning, knowing where you are, what you said or didn’t say the night before, a clear head, one you can hold high. Don’t kid yourself it’s going to be an easy ride, but buckle up and don’t try and take the first corner in 4th gear.. good luck, we are all here for each other.

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  2. I love this I’m only at the start and I’m terrified. My life is going to slip away if I don’t do something. I can do this I have to.

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  3. Thanks, yeah I too have discovered Export Citrus 0%, really like it, had a sip of the 2% version, and felt really guilty lol, but preferred the 0%. Well done you or as you say well done us. Just trying different things, so that I don’t feel like I am being different, sad that so m e people make you fel like that, because you CHOOSE not to drink alcohol.

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  4. I hear you..:) I am now addicted to Big bags of M&Ms – i never ever touched sweet stuff before… (except for bottles of wine of course) six months free now from alcohol… have recently discovered 0 % beer and 0% bubbles at the supermarket.. flipping marvelous… get the taste without the intoxication…
    Have actually surprised myself. Well done you on four months.. well done us!!

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  5. Help……I have successfully become alcohol free for four months, only to become addicted to chocolate, namely. Cadbury Picnics……what have I become lol !
    Also told someone the other day that I had quit drinking. They then asked if I had a problem with drinking, I said no,I found I was pretty good at it.

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  6. I’m going to buy myself a comfy office chair today….. my current one is killing my spine!…. and I want to get a nice plant as well to go on my desk…..
    Get my sober Hygge on!

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  7. What a lovely concept. Treating ourselves with love and respect. I am newly sober about 11 days now, but cannot fathom being kind and respectful to the myself. I hated the boozy drunk I had become. But if I think about this, that is exactly what needs to happen. Thanks for sharing this great idea. Will add it into my new tool chest of sobriety goodies.

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  8. Perfectly said. Captain Morgan used to be my treat. Now it’s the softest comforter, lavender defuser, luxurious baths and dark chocolate with almond butter. I’m

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  9. Question all. I’m trying to post and I keep getting message that says “please do not leave comment area blank”. It’s not blank and post won’t go through???

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    1. I get that message occasionall too @r51. I’m not sure what causes it, but my remedy is to log out of the site and log back in and it lets me post. Great post Mrs D. It’s so important to treat ourselves as we go through this journey and to treat ourselves with kindness and love.

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  10. What a timely reminder @mrs-d…. we all need to treat ourselves (& speak to ourselves) with lots of love and respect. Yes, because we are worth it. And, yes, because when we can be loving and compassionate to ourselves we can spread that fabulous energy to many! I really really needed to see this at this moment. Thank you!

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