Getting through wine o’clock

Late afternoon is often the hardest time to avoid drinking. This Sober Toolbox is a space for sharing tips on how to beat cravings, and for discovering new techniques that have worked for others. If you're looking for more discussion, interactions and feedback, head inside our Members Feed. That's where the real-time conversations take place.

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1,506 Comments
  1. Sue 2 months ago

    My husband had a habit, he was drinking everyday a glass of wine, form time to time more, but I never saw him too drunk. I believed that drinking less, but more often is much better in every way. I didn’t realized that he had the problem with alcohol and now I had also. As I wrote, he never was too drunk, he never drank in inapropriate time, never went to work drunk, never drive a car drunk. But we were drinking every day in the evening. I started to notice the problem, when our traditional hour of drinking was postponed by something, he was at first irritated by anything, then just angry till he got his glass of wine. When I was trying to say that something is wrong, he was in denial. I read a book by Ellen Petersen (net-boss.org/how-to-help-an-alcoholic-you-love), which helped me to find a way to speak with my husband. Now we both are on recovery, both supporting each other, changing our lives, and our love is bigger than ever!

  2. JuliaSN 2 months ago

    Hi everyone,
    I am currently on day 6, tonight is a week ago, that I have touched alcohol. This is not the first time I am getting sober and I find the first days extremely hard especially at late afternoon/night. So what do I do to not pick up that first drink? I am surroudning myself with all sober things I can get my hands on. Sober literature, sober podcasts, meditation apps, journaling in my book, gratitude lists, online meetings and staying in touch with sober friends. I am really thinking about what happens when I pick up a drink, I know exactly where it ends and I am picturing myself how happy and proud I am going to bed at night if I do not pick up that drink. We can all do it, one baby step after another. staying sober for the next 24 hours!!!

  3. Deborah 2 months ago

    I’ve fallen into a wine time routine and so tired of it.
    I’m fit healthy and happy 60 year old girl at heart.
    My goal is to be sober for long enough to know how freedom feels .
    Last time was a month but then the usual social celebrations caught be off guard .
    It’s my birthday tomorrow so what better day to start of my new me.

    • JuliaSN 2 months ago

      HI Deborah, happy belated birthday, its a wonderful reason and time to start to get sober, how are you?

  4. Billie 2 months ago

    Hi Tommy,
    I have just read your message and we could be the same person!
    I also drink then eat then feel horrible.
    I know I am trying to bury my feelings.
    But still shovel it in. I have just reached out to my councillor from a few years ago when I got sober for 8 months.
    I am now at the point where I know I need to get sober and stay sober.
    How are you going on your journey??
    Much respect
    Billie

  5. Shanana 3 months ago

    Wow. There are so many brave people on here. Thankyou for sharing. X

  6. Tommy 3 months ago

    I read all of everybodys quotes, and really appreciate the support. I started drinking at 13 and quit at 22.. Didnt drink again until I was 55. And then I had a glass or two for about 10 yrs. Now I am up to a bottle and half of wine a day. Once in awhile I am lucky and only drink 3 glasses. And I only drink wine. Have plenty of other type drinks at my house that I wouldnt touch. So I cant figure why the wine Is such a desire, and how to make myself stick to two glasses a day only. I would be happy if I would do that. Also when I drink a bottle then I want to eat everything in frig. It makes my self control of eating go away. Which makes me fatter. How can I stop at two?

    • jolted 1 month ago

      Tommy,
      Very similar story here. The limiting of wine is a hard one. I think it’s a combination of slowly buzzing, the sugar, and more and more rationalizing that one more won’t matter. I love drinking. The feeling is mostly great, until I stand up around midnight and groggily shut down the house and go to bed. An hour after my wife. Years of this. Mornings bring the question of why did I do that…again?
      After years of this, I just stopped four days ago. It’s been remarkably easy, scary easy. I’ve managed to rearrange my evening and go to bed earlier, wake up earlier. And I breeze by wine o’clock with barely thinking about it. Trying to mix things up. It’s still new and I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have a non-drinking supportive wife which helps tremendously.
      Personally, I tried stopping at two glasses about 6 months ago. Lasted about a week. It’s too much to think about. I feel lucky so far that the craving is diminished after just days. Ask me in a month. In the meantime, try stopping and really changing up your routine and distract yourself. Easier said than done, we’ll see.

    • Anonymous 3 months ago

      Hi Tommy
      yes the Sinclair method really does help break the cycle. I struggle with alcohol & wine in particular. I start of on a glass or 2 of wine after a stressful day then it escalates from there. I take a naltrexone tablet & it breaks the feedback loop. Im not sure if you need a special authority for it but talk with your GP as the 1st step. I have someone at home who drinks & I find it really hard when he offers me a drink, especially when Im stressed. I know I drink to numb feelings about things that have happened to me in the past… but then I find myself drinking because I’m trying to numb any feeling, I also know I need to stop. I hope I’ll be able to once the temptation has gone.

      • pixel 1 month ago

        Hi Anonymous
        Yes I found the Sinclair method helped break the cycle. I drink for the effect more than the taste & when I have a glass of wine after naltrexone & I don’t get the buzz, I realise I don’t like the taste & a ginger ale tastes nicer. It’s hard though because I have to be motivated to take the naltrexone. Sometimes things are bad enough/my feelings are so intense that I want to be numb. I have treatment resistant depression & PTSD & I know drinking is the worse thing I can do but sometimes everything just feels too overwhelming

    • Anonymous 3 months ago

      Have you tried the medication Naltrexone, as per The Sinclair Method (TSM)? It literally helps the brain unlearn the addiction over time, by blocking the reward chemicals in your brain when you drink. Many people find it helps them change their habits around drinking (which is also critical) and eventually moderate or even quit.

  7. Bev 7 months ago

    I have been alcohol free for 11 days so far. I managed about 6 weeks 3 years ago which is when I first joined this group. I feel determined to make it permanent this time. Wine O’clock is the hardest time for me as my job is stressful and I always consoled myself with wine at the end of the day. It was my reward,
    I have re-read “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace which works the same way as the Allen Carr book for smokers and now I am missing Mrs D goes within which I am loving.
    Mrs D hits the nail on the head when she talks about what comes next when alcohol has played such a big part of our lives.
    As today is the first day of Spring, I plan to take my dog for extra walks at wine o’clock and enjoy nature.
    Happy first day of Spring all of you amazing people!

  8. ChrissyLavender 8 months ago

    I have been struggling with alcohol for a while now and I am worried where it will all end if I don’t stop because I make myself promises nearly every day that I will never drink again and yet I do. Over and over. Outwardly my life appears to be completely in control. I have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful sons. I work in a demanding job (although that’s been getting harder if late to keep on top of) and yet I wake in the middle of most nights wracked with shame, guilt and an anxiety that is so all consuming I can hardly beat it..because once again I have drunk more, way more than the one glass I said I would have. Sometimes almost to blackout. And I have become secretive in my need to keep control of not allowing anyone to know of this struggle. I am remarkably clever at hiding this from everyone (although maybe that’s just denial at its very core). I just know I can’t seem to do this alone and I read “Mrs D Goes Without” about a year ago..what an inspiration. And I keep coming back to hear her words. I want to be free from my struggle and feel authentic again. While I have been figuring out ways to hide how much I drink, can no longer hide it from myself. I didn’t drink last night and I don’t want to ever drink again but this time I am reaching out. I’m not ready to be public about my struggle but I do want to reach out to others who are facing this battle because I have never asked for help before and that’s not got me anywhere except deeper into this hole. I also want to let others in the community how amazing I think they are for overcoming this battle. I want to be one of them.

    • Anonymous 3 months ago

      The guilt and shame is so awful isn’t it. I would blackout and be so embarrassed about it and what I might have said or done. I am at day 60. Need to focus on I haven’t had a drink today and I won’t have a hangover tomorrow.

    • bookbook 4 months ago

      Once you come to the realisation moderation is not an option it makes it easier. My next step was to find some hobby / activity to replace the drinking. The waking up with shame/ guilt in the early hours is a direct result of drinking. Drinking ruins your sleep patterns. There is no shame in being addicted to a very addictive substance, it is what it is. I have been in councelling for 4 years to deal with my shame guilt trauma. It has been hard work but worth it.

    • Anonymous 5 months ago

      First time on this site, and really connected with your story. So similar to mine and the guilt is just all too much. I hope you are ok and thank you for your honesty. It’s nice to know we are not alone

    • ginger6 5 months ago

      How are you doing? I understand your situation completely. After several attempts to go AF over many years, I have committed to quitting for good. Reread a diary that I keep and have seen the same thing over and over… On Day 38 today and all is good so far. Last night I bought an AF Sparkling Rosé to celebrate a big project completed. Also bought a nice cheese and had it with crackers in the sun late afternoon. This was never my go-to drink, so something different but a little fancy with the bubbles. Finding a sour drink that is special is a challenge we face (I don’t like ginger beer with the sugar component) and I have had Soda water and lemon juice (lots of lemons here) and also drinks with lemon and ginger. While visiting my mother I bought some AF wine as I was uncomfortable telling her of the decision. All worked well there since I do the cooking, etc.
      Keep at it, Chrissy! It’s a journey. Today I have told a friend who is also AF and has been for two years now. She was very encouraging and it is good to have a non-judgmental ally.

    • Conrad916 7 months ago

      I totally get this! No one knows my struggles either. All hidden. I never drink outside the house. Everyone I know thinks I do not drink. But when alone (living alone for the first time in more than 30 years) I often drink to blackout. I got sober at 26 years old and stayed sober for 14 years. Been secretively doing the “dance” since then and I am now 60! I want this to be over!!! We’ve got this!

      • Anonymous 4 months ago

        Hi Conrad, your story is very similar to my own – ‘out’ as sober, but sneakily drinking alone, then moved in with now ex partner drinking moderately with him (but keeping it secret from friends and family, then sneaking drinks when he was at work, and keeping that secret from him), relationship ended I crashed royally, drank like a trojan, needed a detox, and am now again living on my own – thankfully after the detox I have remained sober, albeit 21 days today (antabuse helps!) I’m 51yrs and sick and tired of the roundabout
        Sadly my relapses never end well, and my drinking always gets progressively worse, I cannot moderate, sucks really but is what it is
        I have lost more this time around than ever before, which has always been the case… No more, please!
        I hope you are doing okay, here’s to new beginnings, regardless of age : )

  9. Claire0907 8 months ago

    First day on here. I’m 3 days booze free. White knuckling it this afternoon though!! I just need to get to 7.30pm then the craving is gone.

    • Anonymous 6 months ago

      I’m a lot like that, now daylight savings is here I plan to walk between 5 and 7:30

    • Gilly 8 months ago

      5 pm to 6 30 are my difficult times. Before 5 and after 6 30 are not ever an issue. Weird. I go about 4 days ok and 4 days not. I’m fed up with the constant battle. Just sick of it.

    • Gilly 8 months ago

      How come you know exactly what I have experienced for years!
      It’s nice to know I am not the only one. I was feeling like a failure and a freak. You aren’t and I guess that means I may not be either.
      Anyway I send you gratitude and love.
      Dav

  10. Marilynn1061 1 year ago

    I have been sober for 6 weeks now thanks to Kate’s Sober School. I know I can’t continue on my own …. Especially since my friends can’t wait for me to start drinking again. They have no idea how hard the past 6 weeks have been. So how do I a handle them and the 4:00 calling hour?

  11. Anonymous 1 year ago

    Today is day 6 booze free, yay for me! But holy hecker… the stress, anxiety and negative self-talk when 5pm rolls around, and I’m on holidays. When I start back on Monday, my drive home might be interesting. Especially if my car autopilots to the bottle store. I’m scared, anxious, fearful, worried and downright terrified. But what I haven’t been for 3 of the past six days is foggy, confused, tearful, shameful or full of guilt. The first 3 days were full of these emotions and it wasn’t pretty. The other emotion I feel is hopeful, albeit slightly, I hope this feeling increases. 2023 has to be different, I counting on me to stay steadfast, which probably scares me the most. Beer’o’clock allowed me (for years) to reward my stressful work life and life in general, Monday will be interesting 🤞

  12. Bernie1955 1 year ago

    How do you even start to give up I drink about 2.5 bottles of wine a day, and everything I’ve read online says not to go cold turkey.
    I don’t want to go on the on/off drinking merry-go-round if I can help it. A dream perhaps but I want to set myself up for success, not failer.

    • Jcandoit 11 months ago

      Start as high as you want. Cut down 1 unit a day until you stop. Best way to do it. But be honest about measuring the units.

    • maguire 1 year ago

      Have a course of home detox, which can be arranged by your GP for free. You only pay $10.00 for the meds.

      To my knowledge it has not been possible to quit by myself. Like you I have always been a 2.5 bottles red wine nightly drinker.

      • chikka 10 months ago

        Can you describe what this is like? What do you do and what do the meds do?

  13. Piperpip 1 year ago

    Excellent thank you

  14. Frances 1 year ago

    I got to Day 3 and collapsed. I have been a binge drinker for years. I can go approx 5 days without and then when I start I can’t stop. After the first bottle of wine it is all down hill from there. Black outs, wetting the bed. Calling, messaging people in the night. All the ugliness.
    It’s horrific because I’m a pretty timid person usually.

    • billnz 11 months ago

      Same here. I feel your exact thoughts

  15. apol 1 year ago

    Hi new here!
    Day 2 and already fighting off the “do it” in my head. Determined to stop. Wish me luck! And thanks for all the comments already read.
    X

  16. Patty 1 year ago

    Hi all – this is my first time on this sight – totally feel all of your comments – and realize that I need help! yes the self-loathing in the morning, but I totally look forward to 4:00 when I can chill out. I just got blood work results today and see that my wine drinking is affecting my health, but I don’t want to lose the relaxing feeling from my 4:00 glass of red, which is followed by my 5:00 glass and my 6:00 glass, and my 7:30 glass. I have a stressful job -It was awesome to find this site – I feel like I am not alone! I am hoping that the more I read and share – I will find the strength to help myself find better ways to heal.

  17. RubyBuddha 2 years ago

    Tips please on managing wine o clock when your partner still drinks and there is a supply of wine in the house.

    • IJmpje 1 year ago

      Hi Ruby, best is to be proud of your not drinking. My husband also drinks everyday, same time, although it is getting earlier now he is also retired. We even have created our own pub in the shed, complete with dartboard and homebrew. Always a supply of wine available for after the beer session.
      I use to drink 1 to 2 bottles of wine a day, pass out and still function highly.
      So what do I do to help myself? I do have 0%alcohol beer at times, just to have that bottle in my hand like the other.
      I make a small plunger of coffee and take that to the bar and drink it out of a small nice cup.
      Sometimes I drink a Mule. Sodawater, gingerbeer, lemon and ginger, fresh mint and crushed ice.
      On good days I just love water.
      When I am not at home I dont even think about drinking at the end of the day, but when I am home with my husband I get reminded everyday that I don’t drink alcohol anymore and you what? I am so proud of myself.
      Hope you are still sober too

      • Nugget 1 year ago

        well done you on not drinking while your hubby does. And thanks for that “Mule” drink idea. Like you I still functioned very well, but 2-3 bottles a day isn’t good for me.

  18. gidget2022 2 years ago

    Feeling glum when I should be feeling excited with my decision. Crap headache and low mood.
    Managed to avoid wine at a birthday celebration yesterday, I actually stood by the counter and stared at the bottles, wanting to pour a glass so badly. Felt like I was missing out on all the fun.

  19. chrissymiller.710@gmail.com 2 years ago

    New here, hello 😊
    Ive been a daily 5oclock wine consumer for many years and was led to believe it was normal and even good for my health. But now I find that after two glasses of wine, I know longer remember the rest of the evening- that terrifies me.
    No alcohol for two weeks now and a persistent low level constant headache,… is this a common symptom?

  20. tersey 2 years ago

    Every time you make it thru wine o’clock is a win, and one day closer to an AF life! I am the same. Day 54 today, but pretty retain if I pick up 🍷 today it will be a long time before I go even a few days. Sigh! Just not in me to moderate

    • Grace09 2 years ago

      Hearing you re the ‘inability to moderate’ accepting that you are an ‘all or nothing’ type person is not easy. Day 54 is AWESOME!! Too many days stacked up to look back @tersey. Keep on truckin’

      • Debs 2 years ago

        Gosh, this was like reading about myself! 🙂

  21. upche8544W1955 2 years ago

    It means so much to me to hear so many stories like mine—creeping up to a bottle of wine a night, waking up in the wee hours and the next morning full self-loathing and resolve, failing that resolve at 2 p.m., and feeling like I was the only one and all alone in this. Well, I made it through wine o’clock today. Let’s see what happens next week. I don’t want to live like this anymore

    • Jacqui74 2 years ago

      You have described exactly my story……………Ugh the guilt and self loathing. So sick and tired of the constant battle in my head.

      • ambivalent 1 year ago

        How do you know if you are able to minimize or if you just need to quit?

    • Sober22 2 years ago

      Ugh….the self loathing is the WORST!

  22. True 2 years ago

    These posts are really helpful. I didn’t get through wine o’clock on day 1. I had 3 before I started to feel really nauseous . Quickly cooked dinner and that stopped me from having another 6 or 7.
    I will read the wine o’clock blogs earlier tomorrow and eat before my willpower collapses

    • Liz 1 year ago

      Remember HALT – Never let yourself get Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Identify the things that self-soothe you, eating early, taking a walk, bath, sitting quietly with mediative music, yoga, going to bed early with a good book! Do whatever you feel (drill down to find it!) you need to do to get through those moments. They do pass, and it does get easier! It is NOT selfish to take this time to self-care, it is vital you do! And read, and read, and talk to trusted person, family and friends! You are not alone

  23. leelee69 2 years ago

    I rwlly need stop drinking I dont drink every night but when I do I binge and become very unwell

  24. kelli1977 2 years ago

    I would like to stop thinking about alcohol and stop buying it from the supermarket

    • Anonymous 1 year ago

      me too

  25. kelli1977 2 years ago

    I have a hard time not drinking after work, I will drive to the supermarket and buy a bottle of bubbly. I think about drinking from 11am onwards

  26. LucyLou563 2 years ago

    For me ,Day 2 into my second attempt at Sober Curiosity… Making dinner early helps me, I don’t feel like drinking when I have had dinner and I also make myself a Super Spicy Tomato juice with Tabasco and the all the garnish (like what you get in a restaurant minus the vodka of course) so its like a mini meal in itself LOL..

  27. Buggles 2 years ago

    I struggle from 2pm until dinner. As thankfully once I eat dinner I don’t feel like drinking. So I pre prepare dinner, have it earlier. And at 2pm when wine witch starts I watch intervention stories on YouTube and sleep. When I’m really bad I have a zero alcohol beer, but not every day as I’m aware I need to break that cycle.
    Hope this helps x

  28. Rymkervic 2 years ago

    Just looking for some advice. I am on holiday just now and 5th day off drink. Yippee!!

    But when l return l have someone in my house who will NOT like that the drinking has stopped and he will try to get me to drink again (l am not in a relationship with this person but am stuck living with him till Sept) he drinks red ‘sensibly?’ if anyone can drink poison sensibly. But when l tried to stop before he would leave a bottle open in the kitchen in full view (deliberately) to ‘breath.’ And just let it sit there for hours. Also his comments on the taste of the latest bottle became regular – didn’t take long before l caved and had a glass, which is exactly what he wanted.

    This time l am not telling him l have stopped, but it will not take long before he notices – so advice please on how to handle someone who enjoys other people failing – speaking to him is not worth it, that really would not work, it would just build his ego.

    For the next week l can fool him by opening my last four bottles in the house and filling up a glass and then pouring it down the sink behind his back. But after that, with no bottles in the recycling he will notice and start up his annoying behaviour again.

    Any advice to this extra challenge? Cheers

    • NEWLIFEKA 2 years ago

      The day that I realised I’m potentially going to lose friends if I stop drinking and excepted that fact is the day things changed for me. I will not be around people like that. I’ve had to cut people out of my life because of their attitude toward my old drinking habits. One in particular that said he thought I was weak for becoming an alcoholic. When I stopped drinking I would not have alcohol in my house at all. People now have to like me for who I am today not the old me who really was a different person & no longer exists. I now choose the people who I want around me & believe me it does get better. I’m coming up 3 years sober & have never felt better in my life. It’s hard work but the payoff is extremely worth it so stick with it & tell the detractors to f@ck off!! sorry I can’t put it any other way.

    • SoberSailing 2 years ago

      This is just awful, I’m so sorry. He seriously notices how many bottles you put in recycling?? I guess my idea of grape juice in your wine glass wouldn’t work then…I hope your situation improves, stay strong!

    • 2BSBR 2 years ago

      Gosh, what a delimna to be in. Can your living situation mot change before September?

  29. princesspeach20769 2 years ago

    Honestly, I love wine because it makes me forget everything for a bit. I’m just so sick of not being able to stop…. I hate myself even as I’m pouring the last glass. Shaking it to make sure I get every last drop out… I can barely remember anyway. I feel so guilty and sick the next day. It used to be every single night… but now is still once a week or so. Why do I go buy the wine? It’s like an impulse and I decide it’s worth it in the moment. It isnt.. countless opportunities missed, too hungover to get out of bed. Disrespect to my friends and their time.. stealing basically. I will drink all of my roommates alcohol if I run out of wine before I pass out. At that point I’ll drink anything. Why??

  30. Valerie 2 years ago

    Lorna, You sound exactly like me. I am new here too. I am 10 day sober for Dry January. I didn’t quite make it through the first week. But been sober since Jan 8. Did okay at first. Today was terrible. Depression, irritability, just didn’t feel right…really wanted a drink. Tried to stay busy. Chamomile tea, l-theanine, hops helped calm the storm. Hope tomorrow is better

  31. LornaFitz 2 years ago

    Hi. I’m new here. I’m 9 days into Dry January and I have never been this long without a drink in the last 35 years. I was OK to start but I’m now depressed (long term issue) sleeping badly, have brain fog and my emotions are churning. I’m hoping to get through it.

    • kevin29 2 years ago

      Just reading this now and wondering how you are doing. I’m on Day 5 and while my mind is OK, I’m achy like I’m sick. I know it’s withdrawal. I’ve been down this road before. It’s my body telling me a drink or two will make me feel better. While it probably would in the instant, it would put me right back into the storm. I have to ride this out to feel good on my own terms and let my body adjust. It will if I let it. Hope you are feeling better.

    • carolynjulia 2 years ago

      Wow. Well done you!! You will get through it – what you are experiencing is very normal.
      There are some good resources you could hook into to keep that motivation up – try The Naked Mind by Annie Grace. I have managed to completely stop drinking for a year after drinking at least a bottle of wine every night for 25 years, and it was so effortless in the end. I NEVER expected it to be, but I stumbled onto Annie Grance’s Alcohol Experiment on the internet and have not looked back.

      • Homeandaway 2 years ago

        Hi, I just looked at the naked experiment, do we just have to dive in without really knowing what it is? Im a bit worried it might need a lot of time and next minute I feel bad for not doing it! Thanks in advance 🙂

  32. healthyishnix 2 years ago

    I joined this site quite a while back with the same stories as all of you. Needless to say, the months I have been absent means I haven’t succeeded either and wine o’clock has definitely been my nemesis. I’m not a type A personality so am not into challenges like dry January or preparing for a marathon and have read a few “how to quit” books but they are all based around challenges and milestones which I just can’t seem to relate to. OR. I always find a reason for a drink once wine o’clock’s hands reach 6pm. Yet, like all of you the feelings of embarrassment, guilt, frustration and self-loathing consumes me…it’s truly an addiction. Thanks to suggestions from some of you I tried no wine in the house (went and bought some anyway), self-control (can’t). Even the guilt and saying stuff I regretted in front of my teenage son is shockingly not enough (if I remembered what I actually said the next morning). I know all the reasons not to yet could never muster the day 1. New habits/hobbies just don’t work for me. Stick me in the kitchen, I become the bottle’s slave. Until…

    One week ago, I tried alcohol-free/removed wine (Edenvale Chardonnay) and for the first time in years of drinking every single night (a bottle), I have found some kind of solution. I realised that my issue is the “ceremony” of opening the fridge, opening that bottle, pouring into the glass and taking the first sip (glug, whole glass). I describe AF wine as “75% there” – the missing 25% includes the texture, body and the buzz. But it’s the buzz that I don’t want because it turns to fuzz then wor(st)zz! It’s not the same buzzy pleasure of a glass of wine and the first 2 nights I wanted the real stuff but finally the feeling of pride and the feeling that a glass of “wine” was in my hand seemed to help.

    So its only been a week and I know there are symptoms to come and I fear whether I can keep going but this really is the first time I feel a eureka with my habit. I’ve never been able to say “yasss, it’s day 2!!” and now I am on day 7. Thought I would share in case this helps one person out there.😊

    PS – I did find “Quit Like a Woman” by Holly Whitaker an interesting read. Might be useful/interesting for all genders!

    • quoteme 1 year ago

      I’m really proud of you even though we haven’t met. I hear you! I truly hope you find the strength.

    • Katie444 2 years ago

      I love your line – the buzz turns into fuzz – that says it all really. And doesn’t the fuzz come along quickly? I agree with you that it’s all about the ritual of the glass in hand. I’m pouring myself a glass of ginger beer and I’m going to enjoy it without worrying about forgetting things and turning into a total prat. Good luck!

    • southerngirl 2 years ago

      Thanks for sharing this tip. Mrs D also made a similar comment on RNZ this past week when a radio host commented on the great taste of AF without the buzz. As she wisely pointed out, the buzz is the alcohol and that’s the addictive part. Wine o’clock is also my nemisis so am off to find some AF wine as AF sodas aren’t doing it for me and I can not stop at one glass either so moderation seems unlikely. Not sure why I used ther word seems given the evidence – IS unlikley.

  33. Bex 2 years ago

    6 weeks sober, the longest time without a drink in 40+ years. A ‘social binge drinker’, a few drinks during the week then all out at the weekend. My body was handling it or so I thought. The last few years I have progressed from 2-3 bottles of Pinot Gris a week to 4,5,6 and 7. Binges then started to end in the occasional blackout and mysterious injuries I couldn’t explain. Hangovers got worse and worse, I was always saying ‘I won’t do that again’ but I did. Again and again. Then I started, about a year ago, waking up in the early hours with a racing, pounding heart. The most awful feeling, and out of control. Towards the end of October this year,I decided to have some ‘time off’. Lasted four days and then felt I needed a reward so drank a bottle of wine. Woke again with the pounding heart. Finally decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore and haven’t had anything to drink since. It has been hard, wine o’clock is very tricky. If I can get through about 4.30-6pm,I am usually good for the evening. About five days in was the worst day, I was roaming the house yelling, trying to stop myself going to the shop to buy wine. I knew if I did it was all over rover. I called my best friend in Australia and cried on the phone to her for an hour, she got me through it. It has got easier since then. Every time i think a drink would be nice I ask myself, do you want to wake up at 2am with a pounding heart? So far the answer has been no. I can’t guarantee this is for ever, so I take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour, sometimes it’s minutes – if I don’t get a drink in the next ten minutes I’m doing ok. Christmas will be interesting, my family are big drinkers. Mum is 93 and tucks away a good portion of wine in an evening. My sister seems to be able to have one or two glasses and stop. I can’t. If I open a bottle of Pinot Gris, I have to get to the bottom of it. Funnily enough, I can stop at one red wine. But it is PG I am addicted to, and if I start on red I will switch to PG. also I know alcohol is a toxin. I gave up smoking 20 years ago, so I know I need to stop putting this toxin in my body as well.
    Wow, that got a bit long! Stay strong, talk to a bestie who gets you, prepare for tricky occasions or make an excuse and don’t go. It’s your body, your life, take control xx

    • Helena123456 1 year ago

      I know it’s such a vicious circle.. waking up guilt, headache, feeling rubbish .. questioning why I had to drink so much and get to 5pm and staring at the wine fridge.. it’s tough x

    • Mel 2 years ago

      I get the pounding racing heart too, it scares me.

      • pixel 8 months ago

        me too, I try & think about how much better I feel both mentally & physically after AF days. Finding it really hard to stay AF & I know I need to

      • Wendy 2 years ago

        My heart pounds too. Alcohol definitely damages the heart. That should be enough to make me stop but then I cave in and it’s back to the evil cycle of drinking and being disgusted at myself for my weakness. UGG. I’m trying again. Today is day 2

    • michelle clotworthy 2 years ago

      Hi Bex.
      I feel exactly the same . I can’t stop at one, and mine is SB. Sometimes I can but rarely, then yes the wake up,call,at 2 am, heart racing, hot sweats.
      I really need help to stop, it’s the 4 pm to 6 pm time slot that’s awful. I live on my own, so this doesn’t help.
      If I had a close contact or sponsor I think this might help,
      MC… hammered ☺️

      • southerngirl 2 years ago

        SB is my poison too. Living with someone deosn’t always make stopping any easier. I’ve been telling hubbhy the night sweats are menopause-related and I’m such a high functioning, excellent alcoholic, he believes me. The best advice I’ve had about wine o’clock is playing it forward – so picture yourself at 4-6pm, sweating, guilty (I panic about getting cancer), lonely, scared and it might be enough to make you reconsider the SB. Maybe? I’m a work in progress on this but also feel like this forum could be a great place for you to not feel so alone. Maybe log in at wine o-clock time? It’s a safer rabbit hole to get lost in – and you might even find yourself in the process. Take care.

  34. MODdy 2 years ago

    It’s my birthday and I’m not having a drink. The only other times this has occurred is when I was pregnant with both my children. I do dry July every year to basically prove to my husband that I don’t have to drink (and then be 1-1 1/2 bottles of chardonnay a night) and this year I continued to 107 days before having a few bevvies after work one PM. I had never really had hangovers before so the hangover from this put me back on the wagon… who TF wants to feel like that! It took me nearly 2 months to be able to sleep properly but now i sleep better than ever before. I have gotten drunk one other time sinece that first time and had a few ‘one and dones’ but have also discovered 0% beer because, for me, I like the taste 🙂 so have been doing a discovery of the 0% range out there. I’m not perfect but I am appreciating sobriety more and more.

  35. Sara Coopey 2 years ago

    I am the same. I have been drinking every night for the last twenty years and I really don’t want to do it anymore. It started when I was having health issues that eventually led to me having a hysterectomy. With two small children it was the only way to cope. Now I feel tired all the time. I wake up in the night and that’s when I start berating myself and feeling guilty and swearing I won’t do it anymore. I can have anywhere between 3 – 5 bottles of wine a week. Lately it’s been the latter. I vow I am only going to have one glass but before I know it the whole bottle is gone and I feel really guilty and ashamed. Wine o’clock is the worst .

    • 4mydillyboy 2 years ago

      Hi Sara, I just joined 10 minutes ago. I see your post is 2 days old so thought I would connect with you. Like you I’m at the 1 to 2 bottles a day. I was sober from 25th April to 30 July this year and my life completely changed. I’ve relapsed back to at least 1 bottle a day. Hence I came here looking to connect with someone in the same boat as me that I could go on the hopefully new sober journey with.

      • TiMo 2 years ago

        How are you getting on? I saw you hadn’t had any replies so far. I’ve only just joined and am also hoping for connections to help me in my journey that, unlike lots of other people on the site, I haven’t yet got enough confidence to believe in because I’ve failed in earlier attempts. But I AM here because I DO want to get further forward than I ever have before. Hope you’re doing ok

  36. Debsinthegarden 2 years ago

    My wine o clock success is currently hit and miss. I find if I go for a walk and listen to a sober podcast it helps. Also reading avidly. Currently reading Mindfullness-how to find peace in a frantic world. You can’t drink while reading, right? It helps if I’ve prepped dinner beforehand as its when I’m cooking I reach for the wine.

    • Shay 2 years ago

      any suggestions on podcasts?

    • Komninos 2 years ago

      Agree, reading and drinking don’t tend to go together for me either! Hear what you’re saying about prepping dinner, same here… good luck and thanks for sharing the tips 🙂

  37. Bizzybee 2 years ago

    Day Three and I feel fine. I typically drink two glasses of Chardonnay a night. I’m the type that buys one very good bottle of wine and allows myself to drink to the label one night and then I can finish the bottle the next night.

    What I am afraid of struggling with is the weekends: My husband and I go to the same three or four restaurants because with Covid, we prefer to sit outside, and by the time I sit down, the sweet wait staff who know us because we are regulars, already have what they call “the usual” — a chardonnay for me and a Blue Moon for my husband. I’m afraid to go out to dinner now because not sure what to say….I’m going to have to run inside and grab someone to tell them to bring me sparkling water and lime! It’s the social outings that have me a little nervous.

  38. Jenfer 2 years ago

    Is it realistic of me to cut out alcohol (wine) altogether? I’ve been drinking 12 bottles of wine a week for years, always felt I could control it and that it was just a habit I couldn’t break. After having an incident at home when I was sober where I got a pain in my chest and broken into a cold sweat and felt lethargic for around 40 mins I was told by my doctor to go straight to hospital for an ECG and bloods.
    I got told at the hospital after the results that although the ECG was clear my bloods showed up some abnormalities in my liver function. I got asked how much I drank I could only admit to 3 bottles a week and was told that is a lot and I need to cut down. Last night I didn’t drink. Today I feel bad, guilty for abusing my body and rubbish from the detox.
    Dreading the hurdle of wine o’clock later

    • Komninos 2 years ago

      That’s hard to contemplate such a change eh? I know when I first tried to avoid drinking anything, it felt like the wheels were coming off!! One thing I would encourage you to try is a dedicated week with no alcohol – do whatever it takes to get that first week under your belt. Make sure you eat a lot, I found this helped when I first managed a whole week off booze – helped with the urges and I tended to wake feeling better too. Stitching together runs of sobriety, even if patchy, gives us some stable new ground to work from. I reckon you can do it. Keep posting here, this site is loaded with fantastic people and resources 🙂

  39. MissCP 2 years ago

    I’m feeling ashamed, my drinking is making me feel foggy every day, tired all the time and I wake up every morning wanting to stop, but every day I buy another bottle. I did 100 days sober earlier this year, I felt amazing and always do, but I feel a bit our of control with it at the moment. Today is going to be my Day 1, I want to wKe up feeling energised and happy 🙂

    • Komninos 2 years ago

      Good stuff! 100 days is amazing. Now you know what it feels like, and you have something to aim for again 🙂

  40. sweetwaters 2 years ago

    Well made 3 days then was offered a wine taste and just one glass I was surprised I just had the one and I left. Then the weekend brought trouble as I went on my first weekend off since July and tried to stay busy with all the grandkids however after dinner the kids were having a few beers and wine and I ended up drinking the norm and fell asleep. I guess ups and downs back to the drawing board .. start again.. I can say I did feel so much better after al.ost 4 days sober

  41. MamaNettie 2 years ago

    If I eat instead of drink the craving will usually stop

  42. sweetwaters 2 years ago

    Day 1 is almost every morning. I wake up feeling guilty and out of control. Iv changed to light wines but then ill just drink more. A bottle and a half.most nights. I hate the way I feel. I want to live alcohol free but come 5pm every night I find a reason to drink. It makes me sad foggy and depressed.. I want to stop but I feel iv lost the power to do so.. I need help

    • Jean9 2 years ago

      Hi sweet water reading your comment is something I could of written myself as well, im also on my day 1 today and yep it’s that 5pm thing. Im going to put a pod cast on about that time so hopefully that helps me. Good luck with your day 1 😊

  43. Froufrou 3 years ago

    I tackled wine o’clock in Dry July by having a luxurious shower to mark the end of the day. So relaxing!

    • Komninos 2 years ago

      Love it! Going to try it….

  44. MRD4VE 3 years ago

    Day 1 for me. A little anxious, but lets do this

    • acld88 3 years ago

      Same here, although I’m still not sure I want to give up entirely… But definitely want to stop drinking alone, that’s a good start right?

      • Jenfer 2 years ago

        How did you get on? Have you had occasional drinks or totally abstained? I’d like to have some wine at the weekends but be alcohol free during the week

  45. Seaneym 3 years ago

    Day 1 for me. I’m 32 years and struggled with alcohol since I was a kid. Things started getting worse from 16 untill now. My health, money and physical condition is starting to really take a toll. I just want out of this addiction.

  46. sobermama1986 3 years ago

    I have an event coming up this weekend and I’m newly sober- I haven’t told anyone except my husband. He’ll be drinking and I won’t and it’s friends we used to drink with. I’m feeling really anxious about it.

    • MamaNettie 2 years ago

      What I’ve learned is that no one really cares if you drink or not. If they ask, say you’re on a diet or something.

    • rosemaree 3 years ago

      Get a non alcoholic drink as soon as you get there, and if anybody does ask, then tell them you’re on antibiotics. It’s nobody else’s business.

  47. missyb 3 years ago

    Yesterday was my first outing to a bar sober. Being the designated driver was an interesting car ride. I’m almost 230 days clean. The booze and bar surprisingly was not a trigger. I think a club soda should not be 3.00!!

  48. Audi-girl 3 years ago

    I went out the other night with a group of friends, they were all drinking and I have told them I’m doing dry July( great cover ) After a couple of sparking waters I started getting pretty bored with my drink and wanted something else ( mock tail ) everything was fruit juiced based and full of sugar .. I’m after Some suggestions which aren’t full of sugars or cream ..
    I ordered a virgin margarita and everyone laughed and said a glass of salt will probably turn up … lol
    Cheers

  49. Dazza 3 years ago

    Day one fingers crossed

  50. Orient 3 years ago

    Like to manage my alcohol better. Easy to finish work and grab a bottle for a stress release rather than doing something i loved which was exercise.

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