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Getting through wine o’clock

July 24, 2014 674 comments

Late in the afternoon is often the hardest time. How do you get through the witching hours without drinking?

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674 comments

  1. This is the biggest hurdle for me. I start thinking about it when I leave work at 4pm. As soon as I walk through the door, I feel like I need a drink. I would drink in the lounge and then move into the kitchen and carry on drinking while cooking. Now, instead of sitting down withe the laptop or TV, I do a few rituals. I change my clothes. I take the dog for a walk. I tidy the living area. Instead of drinking, while cooking, I wash any dishes lying around or fold washing. If I can make it to 7pm without a drink the urge starts to fade. It doesn’t strike me every day, but I do have to watch it, because it can sneak up on me. When it does I try to say some sort of mantra. I choose not to drink. I choose to stay healthy. I’m strong and grounded.

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  2. Today is day 32 for me and I feel pretty great. Day 30 was tough but I weathered the storm and came out on top. This is the longest ive gone without alcohol since I had my son 3 1/2 years ago. But I’m nervous. Thanksgiving is Thursday which is also my 35th birthday. Really struggling on how to stay sober and how not to fall into a depression if I slipup and fail. We host thanksgiving dinner and anyone who isn’t bringing a dish will bring booze. Being around booze doesn’t seem to be my trigger. I have a bar in my basement that stays pretty stocked and I haven’t touched any of it. But some advice from others like me on how to get thru is appreciated.

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    1. I found telling my work colleagues, family, friends, and basically anyone who would listen helped with giving up, with everyone around me knowing made me accountable for my actions if temptation arose.

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  3. I find I’m most vulnerable to wine o’clock if I’m hungry and tired, which is often the case at the end of a hard day at work. I try to have a protein snack at afternoon tea and that does seem to help. But to be honest just the fact I’m breathing has always been more than enough reason for me to want to celebrate wine o’clock.

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    1. @epifany Good idea, will try it. And LOL I can SO relate to how you phrased “just the fact that I’m breathing” as an excuse to start drinking.
      I’m trying to stay out of the house as much as possible during booze-O-Clock, since I did the majority of my drinking at home, alone. Walking, walking and listening to podcasts.

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    2. Yes, hungry and tired are triggers for me too. Need to find something, even if it’s a bag of chips to substitute for the wine. Haven’t found a drink yet that’s satisfying.

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  4. Hi – I am like so many others and find it really hard not to come home and have a glass of wine- or 5 – but I feel SO much better the next day if I manage not to . I work pretty hard at my job. For me I’ve realised I need to readjust how I think at the end of the day; rather than think “I’ve worked b^&&*!! hard and I DESERVE a drink” I need to think “I’ve worked bb^&*^&@#!!!” hard and that’s ok because it’s in the plan and I’m willing to sacrifice other things in my life for my job so I can work this hard, but I’m NOT willing to sacrifice my health for my job”

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    1. I was always amused by the DB ad campaign – that man DESERVES a beer and when I first looked at the AA check list when I was worried about my drinking one of the questions was “Do you use alcohol as a reward?” In this country we use alcohol for:

      A reward when well done
      A commiseration when missed out
      A celebration of birth/marriage/birthday
      A commiseration in death
      Had a good day
      Had a bad day

      So basically – when do we NOT use it?
      Our culture is broken.

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  5. Today is day #10 for me and I must admit….I AM GOING THRU IT. I was so proud of myself Friday night. I went to a halloween party with plenty of boozey treats (hello shots of all different colors and flavors, adult witches brew with plenty of rum, vodka soaked fruits,)…you name it and it was there. But this girl (pointing at myself) drank diet cola and called it a night at midnight. Admittedly, I felt like a bore but none of my friends treated me that way. I woke up Saturday very proud of myself. But today? Well today is Sunday! The day that I cook enough food for the week and typically have at least a bottle of wine followed by several night cap cocktails! So today, I’m cranky, craving the booze, and cant seem to keep myself busy enough to stop thinking about it. I keep repeating to myself, you are strong! You are worth it! Your don deserves a sober mom! God, I hope I make it thrum Sunday…where all day is my “wine o’clock “

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    1. i use that line on myself alot, ‘your son deserves a better mom’ . they do. i hope we can be that for them soon. congrats on getting to day ten. that’s a hurdle. i do up to nine ok and then ten is reallllly hard.

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    2. I’m really struggling with wine I clock it’s causing problems with my relationship and I’m struggling to get up with the kids in the morning and so paranoid of stinking of wine as the other says
      I told myself I won’t drink tonight and was looking forward to it until now the count down has begun to wine time and I’m feeling anxious

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    3. Kam, I’ve found on my many attempts at being sober that it’s good to change your routine, especially at the beginning. Usually I come home from work, pour a glass of wine (the first of many each day) and sit at my computer to see what’s going on. Now I come home and immediately get on the treadmill or watch a sit com on tv. Anything that’s different. It’s hard for me to be in the kitchen cooking without a glass of wine so I’m throwing together easy 15-minute meals or getting take-out. I think cooking all your meals Sunday is a great idea, but maybe not in early sobriety. Can you do something different with meals for awhile till you feel more confident about cooking without drinking?

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  6. Getting through Monday night Football here in the States with two rival teams is definitely a trigger for me. My team plays tonight and my husband will be drinking beers and cocktails. But he doesn’t have a problem…I do. So, I’m going to work out at the start of the game and then join my hubby in Q2 with a nice green tea. I’m feeling pretty good anyway and know I would over do it if I drink and feel like shit in the morning. Looking forward to another well rested evening.

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    1. I did it @ gabbygirl14…and to top it off…we won!!! Couldn’t have been a better night. I’m tired today though. Had more thoughts about drinking today than the past 4 days but I’m getting through it. Confraternity on day 9…may we all get through another AF day!

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    2. KAM, Redskins and Dallas right??? I have the same problem. I ended up going downstairs and watching in our bedroom with some Ben and Jerry Chocolate Therapy ice cream. Never once thought about a beer. I am on Day 9. Hope you had a well rested evening like I did!!! HTTR!

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  7. Oh, between 4:00 and 7:00 are just awful for me. I actually begin thinking about drinking around 1:00 in the afternoon and by 4:00 I’m leaving work and ready to sit down to a nice glass of chardonnay. I’m only on day 3 but I’ve been on this path often enough to have picked up a few tricks. What I’m really working on is realizing that as strong as the urge is at 4:00, it will be gone in a matter of hours whether I drink or not. If I DO drink I’ll feel tired, sick, angry at anyone who happens to be around, guilty and shameful. If I DON’T drink I’ll feel relaxed, able to concentrate, proud of myself, happy to be alive! That’s the choice I can make at 4:00. I think the drink through to the sick, awful end and know that cravings are temporary. Sometimes I just have to put off the drink 15 minutes at a time. Eventually I come out the other side and am so glad I made the decision not to drink. And I’m rewarded by waking up the next morning looking forward to getting out of bed and starting the day!

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    1. It’s so weird! After wrestling with getting through Day 1 (by substituting or distracting those cravings) I wonder “What was all that about!?” What stops me from having a drink now (Day 43) is mainly self-respect and a healthy dollop of pride.

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  8. My worst time is Friday evening. Friday always meant margaritas and Mexican food. I found that I can make a really good frozen margarita without the booze and I don’t feel deprived of that nice cold lime taste with my fajitas. Like a lot of others, I also liked to have wine while I cook, so I have replaced my wine with a nice soda water over ice with a splash of cranberry juice in an old-fashioned glass. I think that glass is important for the mocktail. A fancy glass makes it seem like more of a treat. Weeknights after work were a problem for me the first week or so, but I have managed to get that down pretty well. I have my soda-cranberry with dinner and a cup of herbal tea around 9pm when I’m winding down and that suits me fine.

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  9. I use that time one of three ways: exercising, blogging, or meditating. Any of the three gives me a jolt of renewal to get through the evening. I won’t say it’s not tough, but the diversions are healthy and help me through.

    I plan to start trying some of Mrs. D’s “mocktails” soon, too!

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  10. When I have moments of missing my 5 o’clock wine (and all the other times of the day I justified) I think of the embarrassment and I guess guilt that I felt every recycling day with at least 14 empty bottles for the fortnight..I live near the wgtn recycling tip and some weeks I would go on my way to work to get rid of some of the bottles so it didn’t look so bad on the thursday recycling day…thats when I remind myself why I dont drink anymore, our soda stream gets used on a daily basis .Gets me through this sometimes difficult time…

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    1. Recycling day was bad for me too! We only had a small bin in Nelson, and I would put it out really late on the Monday night so none of the neighbours could see me, even though I’m sure they saw it really full of wine bottles the next day. When I’d leave to go to work the next day I’d hope no one would be leaving at the same time. I even used to reorganise my recycling to put non alcoholic glass recycling on top to hide! Ha! Well I’m now living elsewhere and have come a long way. It’s now easy for me when I don’t drink but hard to stop once I’ve started. Thank god for my counsellor. I just wish I could be like my friends and have a few too many at the odd gathering. Somehow I think that’s never going to be a reality for me though.

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    2. That behaviour with the excessive empties gave me a chuckle. I’d be last in the street to put out the recycling so I could spread it around in the neighbours’ bins.

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    3. I have just bought a soda stream and just make fizzy water and fill a glass half full and the other half with cold fruit tea. Really nice and refreshing.

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    4. Ohh. Thats funny !!! (Sad) .i do that !!! Make sure that the paper is on top to hide the bottles. I used to take some to work and throw them in the skip. Im off to get a soda stream

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  11. Great site, and good that we can share our experiences with anonymity. I had my last drink last Sunday. Why? I didn’t like being dependant on booze, because I always looked forward to the reward of a couple of beers after exercise, and I hate what the alcohol industry has done by normalising consumption. My dear niece is now dry, and I was so shocked when she asked me to rescue her some years ago.
    Professor Doug Sellman makes so much sense. It’s a poison after all.
    Ok it’s early days for me but I’m looking forward to having $60 a week more to spend on healthier food and drink. I don’t need encouragement but it will help so….. :-D

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    1. We have the same quit date! I love the ideas in this thread. I also think to myself that the craving for the first one passes quickly but the craving for another if I give into the first lasts all night long!

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    2. Yep @Dessicated David – certainly worked for me! I almost welcomed the demon voice, because every time I could deny feeding the monster, I knew I was just a bit closer to being completely free …. one witching hour at a time …

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    3. @Dessicated David, I visualised those cravings as the voice of a drink monster that resided somewhere around my solar plexus – every time a chardonnay thought popped up, I would “ignore” the voice and say to myself “yay, I’m free”, because every time I did that, the drink monster was starved and got a little bit smaller. I’m on 81 days today and the drink monster is now so small and emaciated, that it can only manage the barest of whispers :) By the way, I’m planning a trip to the UK next July on the basis that, if I am AF for a year, the defunct alcohol fund will pay for a return ticket from NZ … and some !

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    4. Thanks for the support and humour Leonie. One of the Buddhist guides is to “eliminate cravings” and when I have a craving or a desire or a thought of something pleasurable but harmful I become more “aware” of it and it dissipates. Well that’s the plan anyway – ha ha.

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    5. Welcome Dessicated David – dry by name, dry by nature! If your drink demon comes calling … delay, distract, drink (water) … yep, great fun spending the defunct alcohol fund :)

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  12. Hi the hardest time for me is on my days off. I work shift work and by the time I have days off I am very tired. My witching hour is mid-morning usually between 10-11am

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    1. You have to change the pattern, change the habit, Gerry – if you know your biggest struggle starts abut 10am, get out of the house – go for a walk, get out in the sun, sit on the beach … anything to change the place and time! I understand that you are tired, but beating that witching hour is the most important thing. Probably going to be hard going at first, but sooooo worth the effort …

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  13. I’ve ordered online, all the way from Timaru, some ‘Fre’ alcohol free wine. hope it’s nice. If not I will try the Edenvale one (both recommended on here) that I have since found out is available in a supermarket an hours drive away. Please tell me if it’s a waste of money………

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    1. as @HappyMe01 says the Edenvale chardonnay is nice CHILLED
      I have ordered a bottle of the bubbly to try from Liquor king and I see The Barrel is starting to stock Edenvale also sad i can rattle off the liquor store outfits huh? I will let you know what its like when I try it.

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    2. Ariel Wines are pretty good, the sparkling is the best I have had for celebrations. At home, as a red wine drinker, I really like tart cherry juice as a good substitute. It has to be the tart as it to me is a very good substitute.

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    3. Hi Lilea, The Edenvale Chardonnay is ok chilled – got me through my last weekend away :) Im really happy to find something which I can still feel social drinking – but without the poision in it :)

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    4. I’ve tried Edenvale and found it really good, plus the bonus of being able to take a ‘bottle’ to a social function and feel like I’m not the odd one out is fantastic. Am sure no-one notices it’s not actual wind so no awkward questions yay!! 74 days sober… Life is good.

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  14. I “open up a bottle” of San Pellegrino. It’s such a pretty, fancy bottle – I never ever would have splurged on this in the past, but now I’m worth it! I don’t know why it seems like such a treat…usually only something I’d have on vacation or something. Actually, never, because I’d have ordered wine, ha ha!

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  15. Has anyone on on here heard of “HALT” ? ie, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired..? They are four ways of being that are well known to trigger drinking. I find Hungry and Tired are my strongest triggers, and it is often the way I am feeling after a hard day of work or looking after children. So “happy hour” or 4-6pm is the danger zone. The drive home from work, stuck in traffic to pick up the kids from daycare, I’m hungry, tired, and would start to think about a nice drink to soothe me and chill me out…for me? Wine..a tiny thought that develops into a huge thought in a matter of minutes…DANGER ZONE…this is when I reach for my chocolate bar and my coke zero. It’s handy to have in the car/in your bag. Trust me sugar helps a lot! And then, just put off the drink until after tea. Eat a nice big meal. Reassess. I bet you’ll feel less like drinking. But if you don’t? Have a shower or a bath. I’ve read others comments about baths on here and yes I agree- hydrotherapy works. If you’re so inclined, exercise in the evening- change your gym workout to the evening. You’ll be less likely to want to drink after doing healthy stuff. Witching hour is hard in the early days but it does get much easier.. you just have to get time up. Eventually you won’t even think about drinking at witching hour. It’s great when you are in love with the new sober life so much that you don’t want to drink at all…and I NEVER thought that would be me, but here I am! Hope my advice may help anyone who is struggling. And if you are struggling, don’t lose hope. If I can get this thing, you can! The struggle is so worth it to have a happy peaceful life! I’ll repost if I think of other things that helped.

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    1. It is encouraging to know that you have overcome the urge at witching hour that currently overtakes me. I can do a couple of days without wine and feel like I can do it and then the pull comes again and the cycle of feeling not in control of it and guilty – in case I let my kids and husband down by becoming ill – invades me. I don’t understand how I got to this point and want to stop but I can’t imagine life without drinking – I wish is never started. Any thoughts to help me would be so welcome – I need to kick it and feel free.

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    2. @nursestel I agree but would add an extra H for Happy. I don’t only drink when I’m in a negative frame of mind….having a great day or achieving something at work I’m proud of spurs me on too. Thanks for the suggestion of doing gym work outs in the evening – you are so right… if I return feeling virtuous I will be less likely to drink. Thanks!!

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    3. Great help, thanks. Definitely tired is a trigger. I work nights and the witching hour after a sleep day is definitely a trigger point, but a meal and a bath help. I guess it’s the body craving sugar, and decision making is not at it’s best when very tired. It’s nice to know that these are common triggers. Thx!

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  16. The witching hour, ah yes. Mine is around 5 as well and the thought that sets it off is, hmmm, let me see what new series or episodes are available tonight, oh and there may be a good movie as well. When I was trying sobriety I would make myself busy at that time. Distract myself long enough that 7 pm would come around and I would start feeling my fatigue. These days, while focusing on trying to be sober that voice is arguing with me all day long. I hate that battle. Wasting my day with the internal struggle and arguments over why or why not. I can manage going without if I am sick as I am now or when I am incredibly tired or have company. But when my subconscious wants it, the idea of going without makes me feel panic. Like I might be missing the party. Remember that feeling when we were young? My beer and cigarettes and TV are my friends. I am afraid of losing them. Crazy sounding I know. It’s a dysfunctional relationship we have going. Really it is the greedy beast in me that wants to suck the fire from a cigarette and wash down happiness with a bottle of beer. If I was to listen to my “true” self, I wouldn’t have an issue. There lies the battle and the Beast usually wins. Then I stagger to bed with a fast heartbeat and sweats and before I even hit the pillow I am vowing that this is the last time. That GD beast….

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    1. @Cheshirecat
      I can totally relate to what you’ve posted. When I’m in my office during the day (the days I actually make it in that is) I start googling the TV schedule to see what’s on – and i get that delicious feeling of excitement over a few hours of TV I know I will really enjoy that evening – and which I couldn’t possibly enjoy without wine. And I know what you mean about waiting and “feeling your fatigue”. I’m going to try to cultivate fatigue as a way of staying sober – i.e. get up early, exercise, work hard, then when I get home, “use” my tiredness to not drink. Anyway thanks – i’ve just joined today and it’s amazing to hear people talk about the exact same things I feel and experience. :-)

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    2. Cheshirecat, I hear you. One thing I have done is tell myself I’ll go without JUST THIS ONE NIGHT. And if I want to drink tomorrow I will. I know, it’s that one day at a time shit. But it does help. And I also get what you mean by your “friends.” I had a sick relationship with my drinking glass — I kid you not — because it represented something to me. But you can do it one day. If you wake up feeling good, you might be able to go another day. Just try for one day, that’s all.

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  17. I am trying to get thru the day without drinking…it is day 13 for me and BY FAR the hardest day. Remind me of all the cruddy things that happen when you drink. I think I have forgotten.

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    1. Hello Grateful. How are you coping now? I remember giving up smoking years ago, and trying to fill the times I craved a smoke with healthy activities – like walking up a hill locally. That was 20 years ago, and I’ll use the same method of visualising a healthy me when I crave a drink now. Maybe seeing the health rather than the ill-health may work better.
      Remind yourself why your pen-name is “Grateful.”

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    2. That’s half the problem. You forget and go do it all over again. It takes some lot of self control to keep from the booze but definitely worth it waking up the next day without a hangover free of any guilt or remorse over the night before.

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    3. Yesterday was my day 13, and it was my hardest as well. On the hard days it helps me to drink all the mocktails I want and eat cake (or whatever your comfort food is). All that is required is just to not drink that day. For the negatives to remember- the hangovers, the tummy trouble, the embarrassing calls and Facebook posts, and the worst- that horrible feeling and shame, guilt and being out of control when the buzz is gone. Hang in there, we can do this!

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    4. we don’t need to think of all the cruddy things that happen we need to find strength in the positives of staying sober. You are awesome for doing 13 days, regardless of struggle you are doing it and by that reason alone you are a success, you are strong and amazing and what a gift to give yourself. Your body loves you. Have a wonderful another day sober.

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    5. Ha ha, how quickly we forget! Nearly two whole weeks Grateful. Keep going, it’s worth it! It’s about what you’re gaining, not what you’re leaving behind (nothing, really – see Mrs D’s “bullshit” post today and all the comments. Often, it’s just about getting through the next hour. Soda and lime is a great crutch and one I quite happily adopt. Stay strong, you can do it!

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  18. It is surprising to hear how many of us have developed a habit of drinking while cooking the evening meal – it is true for me. So I have been trying to prepare dinner earlier in the day (on the days when I’m not at work), so it is just a question of assembling which doesn’t take long. I am always developing new non-alcoholic drinks but my favourite is still diet gingerale with a splash of cranberry juice and an ice cube (just love that sound!). I don’t like to drink out of a wine glass though. I don’t want to think of it as a substitute for wine. It is about breaking a bad habit and making different choices. For me, it’s all about a change of attitude.

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  19. Well here I am day 1.
    I managed 3wks AF in February by drinking soda water out of a big wine glass.
    My drinking has always been full on but lately I’ve been drinking out of a cask so prob a couple of bottles a night- Time to knock it on the head

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    1. Good for you!!!! Keep going. Sometimes it is literally one hour at a time. Meetings helped me (in the US) but I realize they are not for everybody. Also reading books, blogs and Web sites about sobriety. I saw “my story” so many times!! You are not alone and you will begin to gain a strength you didn’t know you had. Tell yourself you are doing it for a week. Then after a week try another week. It does get easier when the time starts to build up.

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  20. Wine o’clock is extremely hard for me especially after a week like I had and the fact that my alcohol issues are related to heavy hinge drinking on the weekends. There have been several Saturday mornings where I woke up feeling like crap but still finished off my drink that remained on my night stand from the night before. SMH. Sites like this are helping and I’m glad that they exist. Ive been attending group therapy sessions for the past three weeks as well and they’ve been helping. I live in the States and was wondering if anyone knew of a similar site with similar information but was geared towards the States? I love Mrs. D and have been reading and following her blog for a while now (though this is the first time I’ve posted).
    I am happy to say I am sobet on a Friday night and I was off today. Three Friday’s ago I was sloshed by 3pm. Wishing everyone success on this journey.

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    1. I just found this webpage. I’m glad I did. I drink on Friday nights mostly, but zip have wanted to quit and live a sober life for a long time.

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    2. I just found this webpage. I’m glad I did. I drink on Friday nights mostly, but zip have wanted to quit and live a sober life for a long time.

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  21. Well bless you all today and I hope with all my heart that every single one of you beautiful worthy human beings wake up tomorrow morning hangover free and start your day feeling really proud of yourselvesXXXX

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  22. I find it really interesting how so many of us find before dinner time the hardest time of day- I have often asked myself if this is in someway connected to my emotions- how I felt at that time of the day growing up when I was most likely to of been around both my parents and the incredible sad/angry/hurt energy they both carried and became very much the ‘atmosphere’ of all of 8 formative years…maybe not- but often wonder…Anyone else out there that find 4-6oclock the hardest and grew up in a home with parents that were unhappy?

    I find when I want a drink at this time I set my sights on that after dinner is done and I can run a bath and soak in it by candlelight then hop into bed clean, relaxed and SOBER knowing I made it through this day and will wake up in the morning hangover and regret/shame/despair free. And be a better Mumma to my wee boyXXX

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    1. @4dayweek

      Wow, you know you may be on to something here. I feel the exact same way. I certainly do find the hours between maybe 4:00PM – 6:00PM to be where I would have usually “decided” to drink in the evening. I definitely grew up in a home with unhappy parents. It’s like, when I consciously made the choice and said to myself that I would have some drinks tonight (some drinks for me is probably twelve beer), then any tension or anxiety I may have been feeling when I was building up to my decision was immediately lifted and I felt more relaxed.

      I still have to work on that, but I am getting better. I know it will get easier as my sober time increases.

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    2. My experiences and perceptions about alcohol when I was growing up was good. My dad was a serious, often angry person and when he and my mom had cocktails in the evening, he became nice, and funny. I couldn’t wait to be able to drink because it looked like so much fun. The daily wine started at the time I became interested in cooking nice meals, my husband and I would cook together and drink wine. I’m not sure when that changed, but its funny, I don’t look forward to spending hours in the kitchen anymore. It is just too closely tied with drinking. I hope that changes.

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    3. Funny how we are all different. I had the opposite theory–I live alone now but grew up in a happy family and have wondered whether wine-o’clock is a response to loneliness and loss of that sense of sharing at the end of the day. But I am with you on value of hanging in and getting past this daily hurdle. The joys of clarity in the evenings and mornings make this struggle more than worthwhile.

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    4. Hey, I love your blog! this me exactly. If i can get over the 4-6pm! i will make it out alive! I could’ve wrote this! i completely relate to you! thank you! I am on day one again. I really want to be amazing and refreshed. I too will look forward to my evening baths.

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    5. I grew up in a mostly happy large family environment. Alcohol did not suit my Mum – she like to keep it together and it made her feel yuk and our Da certainly liked to drink at weekends etc and was never aggressive on it. I still ended up drinking too much myself.
      Your way of managing the end of the day is grand – I like your attitude. It must be hard for people who grow up with parents out of control – I’m very grateful for the stability we had. There wasn’t lots of money but we knew where we were at. If everyone could have a soak in the bath there would be less soaks, maybe??

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  23. I find fresh or dried fragrant herbal teas help. I brew a hot pot of herb, allow it to steep, and enjoy it throughout the night. The smell is a lovely distraction too. Camomile is particularly helpful if you’re finding yourself a bit tense.

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  24. @dolly what you were were saying about what was supposed to be a fun treat, ended with mindless drinking, a wasted evening, falling asleep and feeling crap the next day, rang so true with me. I realise now I have been numbing myself, I feel so much clearer in my mind since not drinking, I sleep better, I’m more present and alert, my mind isn’t concerning itself with the next sip or next glass or next bottle, I didn’t realise what a trap I had created for myself. I think what I’m learning most now is I need to keep doing this for ME and not feel pressure to live up to society’s norm of drinking, because we are the ones who know the negative affect it has on us, it’s too easy for that half a bottle of wine shared with a friend while out for dinner one night to turn into drinking at home after work every night, so just gotta stay strong and remember why we are doing this x

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    1. Yes I so relate to wine o’clock ,
      I really struggle and have a partner who drinks.
      I have found a recipe for chai tea and have been making copious amounts of that.
      I must admit I do feel clear headed though,

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  25. Finally got to 90 days, but what has happened to me. I am thinking about drinking a lot, and feel angry when I try to imagine the “forever” without alcohol. Also have gone from happy serene girl to absolute witch! Help.

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    1. Not sure, but last time i stopped for 3 months, then caved in because I knew I could stop for that time. They told me 6 months was better. Now I’m going for a year, because why not? Interesting to hear you’re finding it hard around now, so hope you can get back to happy & serene soon.

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    2. hey jeanie – hang in there!!! 90 days is fantastic but you need to focus on today and forget “forever”. Can you stay sober today? Can you stick at it till the miracle happens and you get through the ‘witch’ stage and emerge into the ‘new you/freedom’ stage? You betcha can. Just for today – its easier than forever :)

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    3. I can relate, I am 70 days sober and the last two days have felt down, sluggish, look terrible, just like when I was drinking. Trying to distract myself, so glad I found this site today, one day at a time

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    4. there are definatly highs and lows to sobriety. I experienced exhilaration to be free of it for about the first 8 weeks, then I went low for about 3 months….. I DID come out of the low though….!!! And we soooo glad I hadn’t given into it!!! My understanding now is that it’s all part of the journey. My manta (when I was in a low) was “no one ever woke up with a hangover grateful and happy”… knowing that – kept me from falling back to drinking :)

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    5. Hi Jeanie , 90 days is awsume by the way. Our minds and emotions are like a rollercoaster as you well know, I don’t know ya story but when my stinking thinking kicks in I go to aa meetings, failing that for me exercise is my remedie. Nothing like a bit of endorfens kicking around inside my body, however for me to much exercise is dangerous, I become to complacent with my happy hobbies so mix it up a bit. :)

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  26. I am thrilled to read that a whole lot of people are struggling with this whole wine-o’clock thing too… I was so hooked on drinking wine during that stressful ‘kids home from school, where’s dinner?’ part of the day… I used to tell myself I like the taste of wine but really I like the buzz-jam feeling which helps to deaden the stress of daily events… I managed to wean myself off wine o’clock by drinking sweet fizzy cider for three evenings instead which gave me some taste and the act of boozing but without the drive to drink more wine… Then I gave up my boozy start to the evenings altogether. Tis working for three weeks now! Every night I have the same WINE noise in my head but am practising mindfullness with it where I observe the feeling, I see it and listen to it and then I somehow put some physical distance between ME and the feeling. Tis working! It is too easy to feel lost in the craving and to let it overwhelm and become bigger than it actually is…

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  27. I decided that using alcohol as a way to get through my Christchurch earthquake insurance issues to do with having no home was not a good reason to drink. I want to care for my liver and brain- all of me. I stopped on Sunday, so it’s now 5 days with no alcohol and I feel a lot better about myself. I would beat myself up for drinking, all day long. The 6 o’clock dinner cooking time is the hardest and I find myself just leaving the kitchen to get away from the grog. I reward myself with some Waitaroa sparkling mineral water.
    Alcohol dependence is insidious and the wee voice saying a bottle of beer or a glass of wine won’t mean anything sometimes yells very loud in my ear. I hope this lessens as time goes by.

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    1. Well done you. The yelling in your head does get less as time goes by. Someone told me once that imagine your sobriety date is like an earthquake happening, lots of rumbling then the further you are from the date of the earthquake the less severe the aftershocks become. Wishing you well on your journey.

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    2. I also live in Christchurch…7pm was the hardest time for me when my husband put the kids to bed and I got stuck into my secret stash of wine

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  28. All time favorite not so guilty treat is reading and savoring John’s blog,
    The Six Year Hangover. This blog has given me so much, laughter, tears, joy, insight. A true and treasured Sober Treat.

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    1. ….oops, sorry, I was trying to post this in ‘Sober Treats’, somehow wound up here, still in a panic that I will crash this site ever time I hit the post button.

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