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Getting through wine o’clock

July 24, 2014 869 comments

Late in the afternoon is often the hardest time. How do you get through the witching hours without drinking?

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  1. just as one is drinking urine and latter passing it in the urine just for few booze dizzy hours.so disgusting it is.so shameful it is..so it is really healthier,happier and calmer to be without alcohol.

  2. hi there, I’m doing a level 1 NCEA social studies assessment for school on alcohol and its effects on new zealanders, i stumbled across this site by accident while researching, and i was wondering if anyone would feel ok to answer some questions?
    if so that would be amazing, (haven’t had much luck finding answers on the internet)
    1. do you think new zealand has a drinking problem? why? why not?
    2. what are some main effects that drinking has had on your life?
    3. do you think there is enough information available to make well informed deception about drinking alcohol?
    thanks :)

    1. Hi there

      1. Absolutely. When you stop drinking you notice how often people talk about drinking, especially on Fridays! Every social occasion has to have alcohol and it is easy to feel ostracised and ‘uncool’ if you don’t drink – young or old. The statistics around violence and accidents clearly show how often alcohol is implicated in causing social harm (you might want to contact someone who works for the police or in an emergency ward at a hospital! or Salvation Army who have a unit devoted to addiction etc). Kiwis tend to binge drink, which has huge health and social harms associated. Have you seen these statistics? http://www.alcohol.org.nz/research-resources/nz-statistics and this is pretty good too http://www.ahw.org.nz/resources/Toolkit%202009/Fact%20Sheet%20Alcohol%20Harm%20in%20New%20Zealand%20final%202009.pdf
      A lot of the problems alcohol causes remain hidden – people behaving in ways or doing things they wouldn’t normally do when they were sober for example, and then playing it down because they are embarrassed or unaware. Alcohol is too much a part of what we think being ‘grown up’ is – I think it is a massive problem in New Zealand.
      2. Physical: heart palpitations, looking unhealthy, unidentified party wounds (UPWs), no doubt internal organ issues that we can’t see, black-outs, forgetfulness
      Psychological: anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, sadness, loss of self-belief
      Social: trouble maintaining healthy relationships, doing ‘stupid shit’ and offending people, loss of dignity, being irresponsible, putting self in harms way
      3. Information is there if you know where to look, but most people don’t until they know they have a problem by which time it is a hard battle to get on top of it. Alcohol misuse creeps up on you slowly – often starts when young when you think you are having fun (even though you may have forgotten what you were doing). I think the level of harm it causes is played down in the media, people think only ‘ park-bench alcoholics’ have a problem but actually it is a lot more widespread than that – many high level functioning people have a hidden problem with it – and I hate to say it but even some of your peer group may already be showing signs that they can’t just ‘stop’ after 1 or 2. I think the information around alcohol needs to focus on how it hurts as as individuals (physically and psychologically), as families and as a society. I think more information is getting out there, but more required.
      Good luck!

    2. NZ does have a bad drinking culture. There is enormous peer pressure put on people in just about any age group to drink . Advertising in NZ doesn’t help as it often depicts it as being a glamorous pass time. And for some people it is. But for an enormous number it is incredibly destructive. It’s damaging not only to those drinking but it has a flow on effect to whanau and communities too.
      In the past few years I have been more aware of my drinking, and have a huge problem with wine. It’s utterly addictive. Just as addictive, or even more addictive than smoking or other substance. I have many times tried to stop but haven’t successfully as yet. It’s a huge battle. I can go without beer or spirits but if there’s wine in the house it’s all or nothing. And all doesn’t always stop at one bottle. It totally sux.
      I think that there needs to be more face to face education targetted at the younger age group that focuses on the down sides. Maybe more shock tactics.
      Some of the advertising isn’t probably seem by teenagers these days because they don’t watch TV like their parents etc did at their age. But in saying that there have been a few really good ones that will have I’m sure made an impact, if they’ve taken the time to watch.
      Good luck with yr project. It’s nice that you found this site. It’s made a huge difference to a lot of people. You should also check out some drinking blogs. Like Mrs D’s. She has links to many others on her one too. And if you have the choice, don’t drink. It’s a waste of time, health and money.

    3. There is no question, New Zealand has a huge drinking problem. Statistics tell us this. You only have to visit the Hospitals on Friday and Saturday nights (and week nights) to see the effects our binge drinking culture is having. You only have to walk up Queen St on a Friday and Saturday night and see what is going on. Our University accommodations are a riot of young people getting blitzed (throwing up in the elevators) etc on Friday and Saturday nights (and any night in between). I realise other countries have issues similar to this as well, but NZ does seem to be particularly bad. 2) My personal drinking habits led me to write off 3 vehicles, which cost me a lot of money. Very nearly destroyed my marriage. Made me not the best parent i could be. And made me absolutely miserable. 3) I dont think there is enough information in school about alcohol, there seems to be a lot of information given to kids (teens) about other drugs, but alcohol seems to be put into another catagory, almost like its acceptable and normal for everyone to be drinking. Considering how destructive alcohol is, it should be a top priority for schools to inform our young people of the negative effects drinking can have. Thankyou for reading

    4. Hi there,

      1. I think quite a lot of Kiwis probably feel they drink too much, and I think there is a fairly permissive attitude to drinking in New Zealand. I think the prevailing attitude among many is that getting drunk is an accepted part of drinking and that all the fall out from that is a bit of a badge of honour. More and more you hear that the your generation have far healthier attitudes towards drinking than previous generations, which can only be a good thing (and the fact that you’re doing a project on it for school is hugely positive, and part of how the drinking culture may be changing for the better). Overall I think alcohol causes an enormous amount of suffering. You only need to go to court for a morning, or observe a hospital emergency waiting room, to see how much of an effect it has on people’s lives. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You never see the harm it causes behind closed doors. I’ve developed quite a negative view of alcohol. The other day my wife told me she never thought my drinking was ever out of the ordinary compared to anyone else, which surprised me as I now feel I have been irresponsible over the years.
      2. Before joining this site and quitting alcohol drinking was just always part of my life. In my younger days I drank excessively (I’ve never being particularly good at holding my booze and many a night ended messily) like all my friends did. I got drunk for the first time at home at a family gathering when I was 13. I never really questioned my drinking till I had kids. I would never have classed myself as an alcoholic, but I recognise now I’ve been a problem drinker (in terms of frequently not being able to stop when I’ve had enough). I used alcohol as a crutch to prop up my confidence in social situations, and when I became a stay-at-home parent I began to drink wine or cider while cooking dinner out of boredom or to take the edge off a stressful day. That pattern of afternoon drinking could stretch to every night on a particular week (then more on the weekend as a reward for getting through the week). The drinking in front of the kids started bugging me, and the occasional bender when I drank far too much even though I planned to drink responsibly, and as you get closer to 40 (I’m 39) I think your body feels the effects of even small amounts of alcohol more than when you were 19 and bullet proof.
      3. I think there is enough information to be honest, and I also think people know within themselves usually when things are becoming problematic. I think there could be more information available to show people they can live without alcohol and how to do it. Resources such as Living Sober are incredible but probably not mainstream in terms of people knowing there’s that option. I think this sort of site would work for most people that might not need to go to rehab, but just want to quit or moderate with peer support.

      Hey, good luck with your studies. And good on you for jumping on here and asking for info. :)

  3. Love a glass of wine whilst cooking dinner. Can’t cook without it now. Finish the bottle. Don’t feel drunk but not especially great either! Vow to myself to never do it again until shopping the next day and lo and behold buy myself another bottle of vino. Can’t seem to stop the cycle. I feel guilty about it all the time

  4. 8 days today. Wasn’t sure I’d make the weekend but I ended up breezing thru it. Went into work both days and filled my time ahead of time. Really funny how much time I had to get shit done when drinking wasn’t my priority for the weekend. Have a Wedfing next weekend new challenges ahead! Guess I should just worry about today

  5. I’m sick of the daily struggle, so my step dad is taking me to aa tomorrow and I know this is the best thing but I AM FREAKING OUT!!

  6. I just want to be free, not to think about holidays and days planning when I can have wine. Grumping at the kids constant headache. Then having more wine the next night. It’s sad. Day 1

  7. I have been in a terrible pattern for many years of drinking more and more come 4pm through the night. I can now down at least a bottle of wine a night, often 2. it has truly affected every aspect of my life and I feel the most unhealthy I have ever felt. I used to be a big runner, but it has taken away my motivation and energy to do any kind of exercise. I have three children that I must pull myself together for. I don’t want them to think of their mother as this person who drank too much every night of the week. I never drink in the day but come 3pm, all I do is count down the seconds to 4pm when I can start drinking. how do I get over this? I feel like I can’t break this cycle and am almost afraid of a night without it.

    1. Sign up to receive sober blog articles to your email; read several every day; comment on some. Sign up to receive “The Fix”. Ask Belle @ tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com to be your sober pen pal. Download “quit that” app and see how much $ you are saving (BIG motivator for me). When you reach a certain amount-spend some on YOU! Buy yourself small treats every day or two. Find at least 2 replacement drinks to keep on hand. Write/journal.

  8. Day 2 in bed at 9 up at 12, 1, 2, 3 looks like I’m just up UGH. Felt like a rocks glass and a book would have done the trick. Didn’t go there. Wtf need some sleep. At least I’ll get an early start at work right now that’s the best spin I can come up with. Tired

  9. Stay away from the crowd that drinks.
    Attend an AA mtg. in lieu of sitting down for a drink.
    Create some other habits, watering plants, garden, reading, etc…
    If it’s really bad, I pray about it and ask for His help.

  10. 5pm is my usual trigger time, the kids are home and asking me a million and one questions at a time and I go into sensory overload…… And breathe! Now I know this, I make sure I have dinner prepared so I can listen to them individually, have a couple of mints on stand by so I don’t feel agitated, thenlet the moment pass. I plan a family activity and routine that keeps my mind busy so less time for triggers to intervene!! Before u know it’s bed time but now what?? Set myself a bedtime routine, bath, turn off tv/phone, read and then a guided sleep meditation which then helps me wake up feeling positive which in turn has a ripple effect ☺️

  11. I go for a walk in the park in the late afternoon. When the weather is not favorable, I nap, from 15h30 – 16h30. When I wake up I do not feel like alcohol, so I drink tea. At dinner, however, I have to be conscious of the choices I make. I drink water and lemon, or just plain water. It is a challenge; my partner drinks wine from happy hour until late in the evening, making it difficult for me to stay focused.

    I am semi-retired, but when I’m travelling on assignment and staying at hotels, especially in tropical places, it’s bloody difficult not to sit around after work and drink beer by the pool. I have to keep focused on my goals: health, performance, well-being. So far, so good.

  12. Sailed through to Wednesday this the first week (this is sooo easy) as I was driving I thought about how great it felt – got close to where partner and I met for a Friday drink (our treat) and all I could think about was how good that glass of wine tasted! Oh dear.. got home..partner not home ..hurrah there was a 1/2 bottle of Rose in fridge.. Oh no…don’t do it.. it would have been easy but rang partner and got busy..hard night though. Realized not to think about the “feeling of relaxation” I felt when drinking alcohol. I’m going to replace that thought with “Oh how my head hurts in the morning drinking too much”.

  13. Mixed berries with either a fancy natural yoghurt (mixed with fruit/nuts) or a very fancy dairy free sugar free ice cream. Feels far more healthy, luxurious and glorious than a lump of chocolate for me anyway.

  14. IHi I’m new to this site after reading Mra D is going without, having been a heavy wine drinker for years I think I have come to a turning point! Have been sober for 4 days now but seem to be struggling with myself just now (wine o’clock) any suggestions out there, thanks

  15. Yes definitely the witching hours – sometimes I have a couple of cigarettes- or have a nap – walk the dog – or a good tip is prepare dinner before mid afternoon so the cooking drinking association isn’t there – I used to love cook cooking so I could drink lots whilst doing it – and call people, play music, and string the whole thing out for up to 2 hours…

    1. I think ChooseWisely has given such good advice… My first 2 weeks or so if not drinking, I asked my husband for help. I told him I didn’t care if he took the kids to McDonalds or pizza or what…just please take over dinner for 10 days or so. Then, I took myself off to a fancy grocery store with a salad bar and ate dinner there. After, I wandered around looking at all the fancy non-alcoholic drinks. I’d buy one and experiment with it. I also allowed myself chocolate, something I would never before “spend” calories on. The chocolate, and the strange new healthy drinks with all kinds of weird, interesting ingredients (pro-biotic stuff, ginseng, etc – all these came into popularity while I was drinking, and I never knew) were fantastic. I started buying them and drinking them at home. When 10 days or so had passed (maybe it was only 5), I had a new habit. I made a ritual of drinking these drinks instead.

  16. I used to drink wine when I got in from work…just used to “neck it” down. Probably thirsty more than anything. So now, on the drive home I always have lots of nice fizzy water so as not to be thirsty when I arrive home. Seems to help. x

  17. I am 8 days sober. On day 4 I told my family of my decision never to drink again. My son sent me this in an email, “You will always have our love and support. Love grants that. Your situation is well known to us all. During an alcohol possession, we have watched you collapse from the strong, proud, intelligent woman that you are to become something much less.” Needless to say, it hit me hard. I printed the email and keep it with me. Hopefully it will sustain me in my journey and keep me safe and sober.