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Managing Feelings

August 8, 2014 189 comments

Sometimes Sober Treats don’t cut it and we need some deeper techniques to get us through. What do you do in times of extreme emotional pain or stress?

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  1. My feelings always seem to take me down, I have lost my independence and I know it is my own fault. I really want this to end and I committed to doing this.

  2. @felix I was thinking the same thing…. As I listened further I think she was referring to how we “think” alcohol makes us feel. Or what we think it does for us. Eg. One attachment might be – I cannot relax without alcohol. When I thought about how I would feel if I didn’t have this thought process…. It gave me a sense of freedom and release.
    I’m really new here, so I may have all this wrong.
    I’ve just finished Jason Vales book. Kicking The Drink Easily. It is an amazing read and helped me turn all of the attachments I have to alcohol completely on their heads! Best wishes. BARnone

  3. Hi all…still getting used to this…I’m new here and also seeking outside help. So I went to CADs today and did an assessment and they’ve referred me to an 8 week programme…the name of the programme has just slipped my mind and I feel like an idiot right now. but anyway..just wanting to know who here has undergone a programme with CADS- what are your thoughts on it and did you stick with them after the programme?

  4. I take my two dogs for a long walk every morning and evening and try to practice mindfulness and gratitude the whole time. It is not easy as my mind takes flight if I stop working to stay in the moment every second. My need for socializing is helped as well when I walk or talk with another fellow dog owner. I just need to watch out for those friends in the evening who talk about how they can’t wait for their wine when they get home. Then I have to work on gratitude that I am not going to do that. And if I’m at all shaky, I do not go to the store!

    1. I love your post….I to take my 2 golden retrievers out every morning over to the Resevoir for swim and walk. It sets me up for a positive day and in keeping in touch with nature and how lucky I am to be able to enjoy this positive aspect of my life. I lost my driving licence for 4 years and I was unable to take them to nice places so now I soooo appreciate the lovely walks with them.

  5. I do pranayama breathing. Breathe in for four counts through the nose and then out for four counts. Make your breath be the sound of the ocean coming in and out of your body. Imagine the stress leaving and love and light and energy coming back in. It’s wonderfully relaxing. I do this going the bed at night and in the morning.
    I also do yoga when feelings overwhelm me and breathe into the sadness/pain that is there. It helps me feel grounded.

  6. It’s very hard to manage your feelings when you have so many feelings going on and your mind and what tends to wander and you were very anxious and depressed at the same time

  7. Has anyone ever been addicted to Zopiclone? I have been taking it forever, before being told it was addictive. I don’t sleep that well anyway and as I get a long in my travels I would like to be chemically free of anything that’s not natural…Don’t know when the sleeping probs started..Too long ago to remember now..But would be great to get rid of this darn thing..

    1. Hi there – I read your post from all those months ago (wow over 1 year – hope you are still doing well) and I am having the same trouble. I go to sleep OK but wake up at about 1.30 or 2 am and feel really alert!! I stay awake for an hour or so and then go back to sleep OK. What happened with your sleeplessness?

    2. Hi @pippa21 yes it is normal for it to take a while for sleep to settle down, your body is going through a lot of changes and will be detoxing on some level – keep going and it should improve! Have you been inside the Members Feed to talk to others there (in the community area).. people in there at exactly the same stage as you. Good luck!

      1. Try Tru2U Tart Cherry Juice Concentrate Double Strength from HealthPost NZ = if you are not in NZ am sure you can source elsewhere. I love it – gives me a deep sleep and it is totally natural. Just take 10ml or so in water half an hour or so before you retire. Good luck

  8. I listen to Christian music or Kundalini music I love Jai Jagadeesh and of course Snatam Kaur is pretty well known for Gurmukhi music and some of it is in English too. This music always uplifts me and I never am triggered to drink listening to it.

  9. I have a little more than 10 months now. I’m an almost 50YO woman and recently my hormones are colluding with my disease and I felt myself wishing for that good old ease and comfort.. Incredibly irritable, depressed/flat, hopeless with a chattering monkey on a galloping horse in my head. I hadn’t felt quite this bad yet since I got sober last Nov. I read up on alcoholism and menopause/peri menopause and found that alcoholism rates for women skyrocket during these times. I made an appt with my doc to do blood work and discuss options, holistic options first. Meanwhile the things that (usually) keep my head in the right direction are:
    LOTS of meetings. (I am in AA). 4/week minimum plus 1/week with my sponsor.
    LOTS of podcasts. Anytime I am alone in the car, walking dogs. Try the Bubble Hour or Recovered.
    SHARING what hurts at group level in meetings. Shame and my disease want me to think I am “less than” but when I share that I am dying inside I give others the chance to support me which helps both them AND me.
    I try to stay VIGILANT. When I am miserable I try to ascertain if it’s because I am in fear or trying to control outcomes and from there I can try to use some tools to help me let go.
    CALL another sober person whom you respect. I did this for the first time recently, someone other than my sponsor for once, and she actually thanked me for calling her. I learned that there really are women who want to be there for me. What a concept for someone with poor self image.
    READING AA and spiritual literature. I am eating up Anne Lamott books presently.
    JOURNALING as often as I can. This is new for me. So far I notice it helps me finish thoughts all the way through whereas if I let them roll around in my mind they do just that: roll around., jabber jabber jabber. And that’s no good when half your thoughts are self destructive or crazy making. Getting them on paper forces me to examine them more closely.
    PRAYING did NOT come naturally to me at all. But, for me, ” coming to believe” that a higher power existed and could restore my sanity was pivotal because I have never had faith and had to try to control absolutely everything in my world,. When I pray I remind myself I don’t have to be in charge. It puts me in a mindset of surrender instead of fight. I can float along on the river rather than cling to a rock whilst being pounded by the current and debris.
    Some days are just going to suck. Just get to bed sober.

    1. I too suffered some serious peri-menopause symptoms. I’m 50 and have been a heavy drinker for 30+ years. I didn’t know that alcohol messed with my hormones. I wasn’t honest with my doctor. I was a walking mess going in one direction. I finally was honest with my doctor, myself, my family and I’m 78 days sober. One day at a time. My blood pressure is back to normal. I’ve lost weight. I feel great. I’m so excited about what’s to come I’m like a little kid at Christmas. We can do this. We’re strong women. I’ve found great support online. Like you said “just get to bed sober”. I’m figuring the rest out or making it up as I go along.