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Sober Treats

July 24, 2014 234 comments

These are the little things that get us through the flat times. They may seem small but are very important and hugely powerful.

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  1. 31 days is amazing! This place is great to visit. But yeah it is hard. At around day 31 I was doing a lot of mind gaming with myself. Got through it though. A lot of deep breathing is required at times!! And reading everything I can!! Augusten Burroughs ‘Dry’ is a good book. Stories and thoughts and experiences in this website also resonate very strongly with me. I hope you find comfort and that the hard days get easier :) keep coming here!! Happy sober day :)

  2. I have drank away a lot of years too, and happy to say I am more present now, both with my girls and my wife. I’m more engaged around the home and there aren’t any more pointless arguments, no more feelings of guilt, and everything feels balanced and calm…

  3. I am 22 days in. So much more balanced. More energy!!! Eating better. Exercising…sneaky thoughts creep in, but I keep busy and the thoughts pass…

  4. Day 32. Feeling like this not drinking is almost starting to feel a little bit like a new normal, but I have to be so careful not to let the sneaky wine thoughts get in. A couple of times in the last couple of days I’ve suddenly been hit by one out of the blue, like opening the fridge and there’s a bottle of wine there and almost just grabbing it without even thinking. Scary. Reminders of some of the good things about not drinking:
    1. Waking up clearheaded day after day
    2. Saving money
    3. Skin looking better
    4. Feeling calmer
    5. Not feeling guilty about drinking too much the night before
    6. Feeling more balanced

    All good stuff and so worth being vigilant about. Good thoughts to everyone out there – stay strong with it :)

  5. Happy Day 8 to me!!! The first day 8 for about 17 years. I am pleased with myself. And so angry that I drank away my children’s childhood. So pathetic and so selfish. Nearly drank away my marriage. Strangely my children are fabulous young people and my marriage is in tact.
    It’s been a tough week in that I have lost my job. It’s been completely overshadowed by my joy in being sober. Job schmob. It’s more like a change in opportunity than a job loss really, so I just need to get off my chuff and make the most.

    1. Well done for 8 days, onwards and upwards. Your attitude is wonderful, with an outlook like that the sky’s the limit! Keep us posted.

    1. Hi Franny, I wish you well, try posting that comment in the members feed (click the little tab with the three lines on at the top right corner of the page) and you should get a few replies :-)

  6. Falling asleep at night next to my partner not ashamed of my wine breath. Waking up every day feeling clean in my skin, waking up and my first thought being, “I’m sober, not hungover!!” I’ve got a pair of shoes waiting for me if I finish the week, a couple Victoria’s Secret items at the end of the month, and new camping gear for some TBD date. The satisfaction of knowing I’ll be able to exercise more regularly again now that I’m not hungover every single day–I want to be able to jog all the way up my hill without stopping. The anticipatory pride of knowing I’ll be able to look back and say FINALLY I DID IT! And when stress comes along: Tension Tamer and Stress Relief teas, CBD oil, deep breathing, mindfulness, perfume samples, lavender anything, gratitude exercises, getting outside, gardening, and actually listening to my body and sleeping when I need to all help tremendously.

    Plus (and this may be somewhat of a bass-ackward treat, but I’ll take what I can get…) I hate pickles. While cancer, cirrhosis, and DUIs are all of the “maybe possibly doubtfully someday” kind of consequences, I know with a visceral and immediate and utter certainty that here and now, in this moment, I loathe and detest even the thought of going anywhere near a pickle. So: I have promised my partner I will eat a pickle before I have another drink. And I have given him permission to pour pickle juice in said drink should I ever pour one for myself. Just the relief I feel from avoiding that fate feels like a sober treat, lol!!

  7. I was bad about driving while drinking. I couldnt drink at home. I dont want to get stopped, arrested, hurt someone, fines$, or get paralyzed (plus my husband will disable my car and then,to go anywhere, he has to take me. Eat some candy or nuts (cashews, pistachios) or something. Are you bored? Think of something you want to do

  8. 5 months today! online shopping treats for me… sounds trite but I love a lipstick! So purchased a beautiful red shade of MAC. looking better and feeling better about myself has been such a bonus when kicking the grog.

  9. I am enjoying some simple things that are gratifying and don’t cost too much. A hot bath is almost instantly a fix for over thinking and aches and pains. A good herbal tea at night or green tea during the day. First cup of coffee in the morning is sooo wonderful. Homemade popcorn with real butter. A walk to enjoy nature and the sound of the birds. Loving my pets. Working on my business. Sitting in bed and watching ASMR. :)

    1. @jeanetteq I went with your buttered popcorn idea last night. I sat in my big armchair with a big bowl of it in my lap, in front of the fire, nibbling and sipping on a really realistic no-alcohol beer. I was happy. I’ll be doing that again. Thanks!

  10. I pick, at random, a card from my “RELAX Deck. Look at the picture on 1 side – analyze it. And then read the Title and words written for the picture on the other side of each card. Today I looked again at a card I have stuck in my mirror. The Mask….it asks you to draw a mask of the authentic you. Art feeds my mind, heart & soul…in process of designing my authentic mask now. Very soothing and meditative. Relieves my mind and trains my brain to think good thoughts so I DO RELAX!!!

  11. sometimes, i just “sit in my stuff.” it is uncomfortable i wont lie. and i talk to the wine. i tell it. “no, you didnt solve all my problems. you only created more. no you werent my best friend. you are my enemy. no you didnt make my life easier. you stirred up trouble. no you are not going to take me down. i am going to lay you down. its a battle and i want to win.

  12. Just starting day 2, having found this website, I am feeling positive. That’s a great idea about the beads. I am going to try something similar. I am going to buy a nice glass vase and a bag of pretty coloured glass stones, and each day ,I don’t drink, I wii add a stone to the vase. I will place it in a place where I can see it, from the chair I sit in at night and drink. A visual reminder of each daily achievement.

    1. I love this idea! Thanks for suggesting it. I’ve got some stickers I was going to stick on my calendar for each day alcohol-free but I like the idea of having a vase out in the open in the house, but having it be my secret what the little stones signify.

      1. I’m going to do this too!!! I have a really nice chunky glass vase that’ll do the job perfectly! Thanks Marsha :)

  13. I do yoga now! When I go to bed sans booze I can wake up with the energy, free time and (sometimes) motivation to set aside an hour for myself to practice yoga. It’s truly just for me: I light incense, play some blues or jazzy tunes and get to be alone with my thoughts for an hour.

    Plus, I can have the occasional chocolate something or other and not feel guilty.


  14. Hi all, talking self care here this is a post about colonic irrigation for anyone who has wondered about it, and the benefits. Like many my partner seems to find the topic schoolboy-level amusing however i take my colonic health seriously! For me it’s a sober treat and it’s kind of like a spa treatment. i have had several sessions and will have more, as a cluster of treatments is recommended when you first start. it’s likely you have a lot of cleansing to do if like me you are in your forties, whether you are a boozer or not it’s likely that by now you have A LOT of waste sitting around in your gut.
    The colonic therapist explained that (it is her belief that) we carry traumas and our experiences in our physical bodies, not just in our heads and this can manifest in inflammation, discomfort and tension. Our lower intestine (bowel) can stop working effectively and the waste ends up bulging out into pockets of the bowel wall and just festering there. Even if you keep regularly (or not so regularly) eliminating waste, the old stuff still sits there as a toxic masses or blockages and can leak back into the body, making you feel crappy (he he) or actually ill.
    I also heard Laura McKowen http://www.lauramckowen.com/ talking to Andrea Owen http://yourkickasslife.com/ on one of her podcasts and she believes as do others that we ‘carry our issues in our tissues’, and this is precisely one of the reasons why yoga is so beneficial to mental recovery as well as physical. stretching and movement helps our bodies to release the toxins and chemicals that have been released during trauma (or our everyday drama) and hang around in our bodies. Sounds good to me! Also, boozing dehydrates you as we know so that does not help with keeping your beautiful intestine moving things along smoothly.
    After maybe 4 sessions a couple of weeks apart I felt a lot better ie not so bloated, my stomach and abdomen are looking more like they were pre-pregnancy and i’m feeling good about myself. The most recent session released a LOAD of toxic waste and I felt a big improvement to the bloat. My therapist put her hands on my abdomen when I first went along and said ‘wow you are really bloated’. I was like, am I?? I had basically just got used to feeling like that! Now clothes are fitting much better and I feel lighter and healthier. The actual mechanism is completely enclosed, no mess, it’s not gross. the therapist massages your abdomen during the treatment, you can see what is being eliminated through some clear pipes on the machine if you want – fascinating! that’s the best bit, seeing all the toxic waste going out of your precious body! So I would recommend it as a part of the detox picture.

  15. I’m loving buying new clothes,fresh flowers ,scented candles,good books-clever thrillers,going to the movies,getting massages,& delicious hot baths .

  16. I’m new here and grateful for all of you as i thought i was alone. I haven’t quit yet but have cut back and i’m planning the “great escape” for the 4th time. I’m a woman, a mother, a wife, and a closet drunk. No one knows. My family, my friends, my employer. I find it tough when i get home not to drink. I’m chronically bored by nature and think this has been my issue when analysing how i got caught up in this situation. I went most of my life without any alcohol to being a closet drunk the past 8 years. Are there also supplements to help cure this problem? And i heard eating grapes 3 times a day works wonders. Thanks again everyone! Love you all.

    1. How are you doing Anonymous? I tried to cut back dozens of times and it finally got so hard, and I got so tired of disappointing myself, that I finally said F it and quit altogether. Amazingly, it’s been much easier than moderating! Definitely get yourself into some hobbies if you are able–find something that really lights you up inside, something good for yourself or the world that you would do even if no one knew just because it feels good and right. In the meantime, milk thistle is good for your liver, and I have heard kudzu supplements can reduce the cravings. Good luck and I hope you are well!

  17. Going to start scheduling regular massage. Can afford since not drinking. Also, since I recklessly wasted a good sum of money playing slot machines..realized could of had a massage daily and a nice shopping spree for myself. When I’ve properly saved back that money..I will do a small version of just that!

  18. Every morning I wake up and tell myself Iwon’t drink tonight. Then somewhere throughout the day, I find an excuse to not resist that impulse to stop at the store on the way home. There’s a couple beers left in the fridge, still, but trying not to stop on my way home today.

    1. i found the thought of going the first day without my “best friend” the toughest. i couldnt imagine how i would do it. the thought itself was way worse than doing it. i remembered what a non drinking friend of mine said when i told him i couldnt imagine how id break the habit. he said “just dont buy it and bring it into the house.”. i keep focused on that. i keep many different things in the fridge i CAN drink. i also have “unfriended” my alcohol and remind myself that no matter how innocent it seems, it is NOT my friend. just another bad relationship i have to say NO to.

    2. Ooops, sorry, meant to post this as a daily reflection, wrong section!

      But in the spirit of this thread, I love to cook and finding my interest declining. If I had to start with something to treat myself for not drinking, I think making some very tasty meals would be where I would start.

  19. Feeling the need to journal through this af day. Need to post and share. It is only lunchtime. I went for a walk outdoors, but it was overcast and windy so I cut it short. Started a Netflix movie while having a slice of ham, sweet potatoes and field peas for lunch. I’ve cooked a lot the last two days so have plenty of good leftovers. Feeling content so far. Thank goodness the old habit of having wine with an early movie isn’t beckoning right now. It is a vacation day, so will keep you posted.

  20. My main treat is time for me. I too have rediscovered reading and I also try to escape to my room just for ten mins or so and listen to a track I love and just lie and rest.
    Am aware that this is a dangerous time for me. The main festivities are over and I am back to the reality of everyday life and problems.
    Am trying to put things in place to ensure my safety, phone calls, meetings, texts, this site and routine.
    After my relapse am now on day 11 which I am pleased with especially over Christmas was very stressful but I had support from my long suffering family.
    Am making a plan each morning at this time which has helped me focus in the past and seems to be helping me now.
    Would be grateful for any ideas from others.
    New Year to negotiate now. We are staying home and relaxing quietly and watching fireworks at midnight. I don’t want to go out. Have got in lots of interesting soft drinks and no alcohol in the house.
    Happy , Sober New Year to everyone!
    Here’s to a peaceful 2017.
    Lindy x