No, not the TV show – the one in your head trying to convince you to drink. The one that whispers sweet nothings when you’re vulnerable and promises alcohol will make things better. The one that tells you you’re boring for not drinking, that everyone is judging you, that everyone else is having a Great Fun Time! while you are a sad sober loser.
That nasty, lying, conniving voice. Your inner addict. The part of your brain that wants you to keep imbibing alcohol to feed the addiction. Wolfie. The Wine Witch. IT. Trevor. Whatever you want to call it, however you want to look at it, I believe that recognising it for what it – addictive thoughts and not the truth – and facing it head on is key to a happy sobriety. The best way for me to face my addictive voice head on and challenge it’s authority over my brain was to talk about it out loud and write about it in my blog.
My voice would repeat lots of useless, bullshit, manipulative lies. It would say to me; ‘Go on, it’s only wine’ and ‘Everyone drinks so should you’ and ‘You deserve it’ and ‘You don’t really have a problem anyway’ and ‘Life’s short’ and ‘One won’t hurt!’ and so on and so on.
I remember early on when I was getting sober saying out loud to Mr D that I had a voice in my head trying to convince me to drink and I remember how strange that sounded but how truthful it was and how much talking about it helped. Then I wrote about it in my original blog (here) and a reader commented and said “Yay for you! In SMART recovery what you did is called addictive voice recognition technique.” I went straight away and researched all about this and felt even more prepared to fight that little fucker when it started piping up in my brain.
Addiction Nurse Steph also spoke about the Addictive Voice in her interview and included a really helpful website link all about it in which you can see near the bottom of her post.
Members here at Living Sober often talk about their inner addictive voices. This is from the Members Feed recently: “I loath my inner booze voice as it has had the upper hand for far too long. So I am dishing some medicine back at IT breaking IT down to manageable back round noise. I have had long discussions with IT and cannot trust IT as far as I can kick IT. It’s a war between IT and me and this time I am gonna take the high ground.” Yes!!!!
What about you? Tell on your Inner Addict. I promise – doing so will take some of it’s power away. That voice in your head that is trying to convince you to drink, what does it say?