Those cravings are ARSEHOLES! (and a helpful list to help you combat them)

Wednesday 29 Mar, 2017, 11:14am by Mrs D 18 comments

It’s true. Cravings are arseholes. They hit and they can be so powerful and they suck.

Often they come on the back of some emotional pain, so they’re pain on top of pain. And they can be so hard to resist.

My mind would get utterly obsessed with the craving, all I could think about was how much I wanted a drink, how a drink would be just lovely, how easy it would be to just have a drink, how lots of other people were having a drink right now and enjoying it, how a little wine would’t hurt, boy did I want a drink, couldn’t I just have a wee drink?, I deserve a drink, I WANT A DRINK!!!!!!

Fucking on and on and on the craving would go inside my head. Meanwhile my body would be restless and itchy and jittery and out of sorts. My whole being would be out of sorts. Craving, CRAVING a drink.

Fucking arsehole craving.

I tell you what. Those cravings are not going to go away if you feed them. This is the awful truth. You have to ride them out again and again and slowly you will starve the bastards and they will fade away.

Know this when it rears it’s ugly head. Try to step back a little from inside yourself and detach. It is not you, it is a passing feeling..

Talk out loud to the craving. Say “I’m having a hard-out craving right now” to your loved ones or the bathroom mirror. Even that little act will diminish it’s power a little.

Be curious about the craving. Examine it in a clinical fashion. Where you are feeling it in your body. Is it a tightening in the chest? Is it tension in the shoulders?

Then do some things to help you get through;
*Visualise yourself getting into bed sober and waking up so, so happy with no hangover or guilt.
* Run yourself a big, hot bath.
* Go for a run
* Eat something yummy or make yourself a smoothie or a hot drink
* Go to bed and hid under the covers
* Walk the dog, pat the cat, feed the fish
* Play cheesy music really loudly and SING
* Yell out loud ‘I’M NOT FEEDING YOU CRAVING!!!!!!’
* Do some yoga
* Go for a swim
* Bake a cake
* Binge watch Netflix while eating chips and dip
* Write out all the reasons why you don’t want to drink alcohol any more
* Phone a friend
* Write a letter to your future self about how brave and amazing you are being
* Log in to the Members Feed here and talk to others who know what it’s like to fight off bastard cravings
* Do some housework
* Pluck your eyebrows
* Sit outside wrapped in a blanket and count the stars
* Do some gardening
* Walk the streets at night
* Comment at the bottom of this post with any ideas you have to beat cravings
* Know that the craving won’t kill you
* Know that if you resist this craving the next one will be just a tiny bit weaker
* Trust
* Have faith
* Hang in there
* Believe

Do one or many of these things, or your own things, and slowly over time, the more cravings that you resist the weaker and less frequent they will get until eventually they will disappear altogether.

Trust me on this. I used to experience such strong cravings all the time but now I’m over five and a half years sober and never get them at all. NEVER!

And I sure don’t miss those bastards at all.

Love, Mrs D xxx

18 comments

  1. Righto. This list is brillant. I’m on Day 1. Drank a bottle last night (and the previous three nights) and I have been awake since 2.30am and realized in those wee small hours that enough was enough. I have tried to stop before but the first sign of stress and I am like a robot pulling into the bottle shop. But this time I think I can do it. I know it will be hard and the cravings and anxiety will come but I’ll be waiting patiently for it, arms crossed, not budging. I have some enormous challenges coming up – a big surgery to divest myself of some perky cancer and the ex husband leaving the country, leaving me as a full time mum (all happening at the same time too, God forbid) – and I do not want to deal with this with wine, which has been my anaesthetic until now. I want to face it head on, with all my wits. I nailed the first day. Now onto the second.

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  2. I am now on Day 51 and this week I have come home from work feeling very stressed and all I could think of is someone pour me a wine!! But, what I am now starting to understand is that the wine is a crutch and when I was drinking it was so easy to sweep the stress aside and replace it with wine. but the stress doesn’t go away and it still has to be dealt with at some stage. This week my light bulb moment was realizing that because I am not drinking anymore the emotions I am feeling are so very raw and I have to deal with the stress moments in such a different way. As “Anonymous” posted, remembering I never could have ‘just one’ is my way of not reaching for a bottle. and, remembering how good it is going to feel waking up in the morning with a clear head. This is my first post, and I truly thank Mrs D and all the community out there who are helping me with my life changes.

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  3. You’re awesome and your comments are spot on, Ms. D. I CANT WAIT TO HAVE FIVE YEARS. I did get tightening in my shoulders. I thought only alcohol could relieve that, but if I made it until the morning, no tightness. Day 44. Thank GOD!

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  4. What a great post, comforting. It’s do easy to think you’re on your own with this. I met up with friends I’d not seen for nearly 15 years last night. My driking always provided a buffer to my social anxiety. I was late setting off and very nearly ran out of petrol (I ran out just as I git to the pump!), so a bit stressed mixed with a touch of anxiety. I was crazy craving wine. In fact so much so that I’d decided I’d drink a glass at the restaurant. Headstuff: “everyone else drinks, I’ll just moderate, I’m missing out on soooo much if I don’t drink”. Anyway we met and they ordered cokes so I did too. Thank god!!! I wa so close. After nearly 4 weeks sober. But I didn’t and I now have some understanding of my triggers. Plus I’ve screenshotted loads of your comments and ideas for future reference. So thank you everyone. xxx

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  5. Thankyou Mrs. D -
    You are so amazing!
    Feeling so down lately and those cravings which had been pretty quiet for a while came back fiercely.
    Walked into my house and immediately went searching for half an ice cream bar which I found out my son ATE!! – I did say he could have it.
    Luckily I had some dark chocolate and a cup of coffee too.
    Still have my coat on.
    But before I would have had it on and be drinking a glass of Chardonnay.
    Perfect post for me tonight!!!!!!!!!

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  6. Bringingthings back to one minute at a time

    Icecream, icecream and more icecream. Hard to drink on top of a triple icecream sundae

    Soda and Phoenix fruit juice mix

    Good coffee

    Painting .Art combined with music

    I have not tried this yet as I am in art mode. But I lnow crochet and knitting centres me

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  7. Whenever that wine bitch craving bastard comes calling I have this mental picture of myself- it’s 3 am., head in hands, sitting on the loo, head thumping, bawling my eyes out because I’ve yet again caved in to the bloody cravings! It’s a pathetic image of my former self and I never want to experience it again!!!!

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    1. I am sort of in that place of what you use as a deterrent. I am not overly hung over but enough that I am awake at 4 am and am in this site looking for inspiration. Your post spoke to me because I hadn’t drank for the last 7 days using the same deterrent as you. It helped every time I craved alcohol. Or it made it that much easier to obstain. It’s just great to read from others a similar story. Good luck!

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  8. Thank you,that’s a really helpful post,I had a craving last night after a very taxing day at work,what did I do?…..I cleaned the bathroom ,decluttered it,lit a candle & had a big hot bubble bath,glass of sparkling grape juice,& some sweet delicious fresh medjool dates.
    Well done on staying over 5 years alcohol free,I’d be so proud of myself to achieve that!!

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  9. Great post thanks. has helped me a lot.. day 32 for me.. still early days so will be reading this post again.. The bastard cravings attack at anytime so will now observe them and not get to worked up… this site is also helping me heaps… xx

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  10. Im only day 13, so those bastard cravings come at me like a freight train. It seems to be the worst if my mood has gone to shit. When life is feeling good, I can even be around wine and not crave it! Right now my reaction is to sit and stare with my mouth open, wondering if I can just have 1, maybe 2 glasses….wondering what the fuck have I gotten myself into, this non drinking BS. (then I remember the hangovers!!!!!). Then I panic and want to disappear from this world. I climb into bed and immediately go fetal. Aside from logging onto here, I will read, watch Gilmore Girls (innocent damn show and the lead always drinks so much damn coffee I’m trying to figure out HOW she rarely has a drink!), walk my dogs, and my favorite thing to do once I’m able to sit up, is go online and google different places in the world I want to travel to.

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  11. oh YES!!! so much YES! This awesome…. those asshole, bastard mother fuckers!!!!!! I am so honoured you said I inspired this post! I mean, what an honour!! Thank you for this post and this community of incredible support… It is truly a miracle!!! XX I look forward to the day when I don’t get cravings anymore….. sigh….. ps feeling much better this morning, lost another pound (no empty wine calories) and so so so happy that I pushed through… Bring on day 36!!!! Lots of love from ME!!! xxx

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  12. *Clear out a cupboard a day and donate crap to charity.
    *Get out the recipe books and spend time doing a meal planner for the week.
    *Make a sober date with a buddy for coffee and cake as a reward for your hard work.
    * Give yourself a manicure/Pedicure
    *Take turns to give family members shoulder or back rubs.
    *See lots less of trigger people…you know the ones
    *Plan rewards or treats especially on weekends
    * Remember you can say no to events that are just too hart. Feck em.
    Hang in there and trust us, it will get way better and it doesn’t take forever.

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  13. I am 15 months sober and get cravings only rarely but when I do I remember 2 things:
    1) I never could have “just one”
    2) I don’t want one more wicked hangover.
    I center myself pretty quickly with this mantra.

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  14. Great list Mrs. D. Those cravings for me were like marching orders – ordering me to the closest liquor store. I felt powerless to resist. Trying to be objective about the voice, putting some distance between you and it can help. Because that voice is not your friend, it will keep you drinking until you die, very likely prematurely. Onto happier things, what helps is chocolate. Making dark chocolate truffles is one of my new things and they’re so simple and great to have around. And meditation’s a great go-to to help get a handle on uncomfortable feelings, just 25 minutes helps a lot. Best to all, xx

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