One of the things that is so hard about being addicted to alcohol is that much of the angst is internal. By the time I neared the end of my drinking days I had a lot of twisted beliefs, secret compulsions and miserable thoughts swirling around in my head. My thoughts were a noisy, angst-ridden jumble…thrown into chaos by my addiction. I was really messed up and miserable.
When I gave up alcohol I started writing these thoughts out into a blog. Every day I sat at my computer and forced myself to turn the jumbled up mess inside my head into sentences and paragraphs. My toughts travelled out of my brain, down my arms, through my fingertips and onto the keyboard. It was an incredibly powerful and freeing process. I would type a post and in the process figure stuff out. Slowly my messy brain noise took on some clairty, my own written words would stay with me all day and provide some focus and relief and I looked forward to the next time I’d write.
Everything about the blogging process – planning, writing, reflecting – helped immensely. And because the blog was anonymous and hidden (I thought) I was brutally honest with myself. I didn’t need to filter my thoughts for an audience or present any image of myself that wasn’t the truth. I didn’t care about spelling or syntax, I just wrote what I was thinking and feeling. I wrote about my experiences as I learned to move around the world as a non-drinker. My triumphs and mess-ups. My revelations and my tears.
Writing got me sober and writing helps keep me sober to this very day.
Building this website – Living Sober – was all about taking the experience I’d had in the blogging world and creating a space where others could write their way to freedom. Here at Living Sober we provide an environment which is safe and kind, where people can get their thoughts and feelings out and receive lovely support in return.
Write out your hopes & struggles, triumphs and trials. Externalise your thoughts. Get it out. You’ll find that being forced to put what is in your head into words on the screen is very cathartic and empowering.
I think at the core of any recovery programme or specific path to sobriety is the basic fact that the addict has to do it for themselves. We can get wonderful outside help, use tried and true methods, gain ideas from fellow addicts and support from experts, but at the end of the day the addict has to want to change otherwise the booze will eventually find it’s way in again. Blogging & writing to yourself cuts to the heart of that because it is self-driven – just you talking to yourself.
And in a site like this you have instant community! Lovely, likeminded, non-judgemental people like you. Look around and comment to other people and share your ideas, tips and tricks.
Just get it out.
Love, Mrs D xxx