This is one of the main things I want every person who is stuck in a miserable boozy hell-hole – and every person who is working damn hard to get sober – to know. You Are Not Alone.
Being miserably addicted can be one of the most lonely and isolating places to be. I know that when I was in the depths of my drinking days.. wrestling constantly with myself, desperately trying to moderate my intake and change my reality.. I felt very alone.
And I was in a loving marriage surrounded by a good circle of friends and family. Yet this is what my awful alcohol habit had me feeling. I felt like I couldn’t fully express the depths of my guilt and anguish to anyone. I felt very isolated.
I think addiction wants us to keep feeling isolated and alone because then we’ll stay in the cycle of using and self-abuse. As soon as we start to sense that there are many, many others grappling with the same issues and feeling the same way.. our addiction starts to lose some of it’s power over us.. and the best version of ourselves (the sorted, sober, together versions) start to grow in strength.
That’s why fellowships and sober communities (in person or online) are worth their weight in gold.. because we gain strength in numbers. Go read the introductory note at the front of this site – the whole tone of it is pitched not only to make new visitors feel welcomed in but also to immediately give them the sense that they are not alone; “All of our stories regarding alcohol are different, but by sharing our individual truths, we are all immensely strengthened. Welcome to Living Sober. You are not alone.”
So the next time you are struggling hard not to pick up a drink at 5pm, feeling desperate to escape the pressures of the day, please stop and think of all the other brave people who are fighting the exact same battle at the exact same time. It will give you strength!
The next time you’re standing at a party at 9.30pm on a Saturday night feeling bored because most of the other people there are getting boozed and annoying, please stop and smile gently inside knowing there are many other sober people feeling the same way at the same time at their events. It will give you strength!
The next time you have ANY sort of sad feeling or tense thought or tricky emotion about not drinking KNOW that there are MANY other brave sober warriors who are likely to be feeling those EXACT same things at the VERY same time. It will give you strength!
And know this; booze is shit and all the cool people are sober nowadays. You are not a loser drunk, you are not a boring sober person. You are someone who struggles to control the drug of alcohol, who is working hard to get that shit out of their lives and turn themselves around to become the best version of themselves that they can be.
And You Are Not Alone.
Love, Mrs D xxx